O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Although most of Thanksgiving Day is usually spent by Americans stuffing themselves full of turkey, dressing, and whatever is a traditional food for them to eat, it is meant to be a day to reflect upon all there is to be thankful. In the past I have fallen short of realizing how blessed and full my life is, but it truly has been. With Magdalena in my life it is impossible for me not to truly count my blessings. On her 113th day with us she was able to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. This is truly a miracle. All of her family gathered around to celebrate such a wonderful day. There are other things that have been on my mind as I begin to reflect how thankful I am for having been able to spend so much time with Magdalena. I am thankful for... Noah, an incredible, loving husband who is constantly patient with me. A country where I can freely go to church and worship. A life where we are blessed with family. God always providing for our needs (and sometimes just simple desires...

One year ago today, the day before Thanksgiving, I had surgery on my right ear. At the time I did not know that I was pregnant and it was too early for the doctor to detect it before having the surgery. But it is technically impossible that I was not because there are certain "activities" that I can not do for a certain amount of time. I remember lying there about to go under thinking that I really thought that I was pregnant, but I ignored these thoughts because there had been many times before when I had that feeling that I was pregnant but it was a false alarm. Also, for about two weeks after the surgery I was not allowed to blow my nose, which means that I would end up getting the worst cold ever. The doctor called in some strong medicines that would help me get better faster since I was so stopped up. I would sneak into the bathroom trying to blow my nose just a little bit, but Noah would hear me and get on to me for doing it! Early to mid December when I found out for s...

This is Magdalena after she had her picture made with Santa Claus. I had wanted to find her a Christmas dress, but it is so hard to find her size! Thursday night I saw this dress on Caroline's doll, and Caroline generously let Magdalena borrow all of her doll dresses. The other dress has a birthday cake on it, which almost made me cry. Caroline and Emma had a smocked birthday dress, and I kept trying to find one for Magdalena for all of her birthday celebrations, but again, I had no luck when it came to finding her size. Lori told Caroline how she had just made my day by letting Magdalena borrow all of her doll dresses. Noah is working so hard to finish up some work this week, so Magdalena and I hung with our family outside of the house. He would get much more done without her beautiful face distracting him! On Saturday Noah and I went to take Magdalena to meet Santa Claus at Photo Images. As we were walking in the door I saw that they are "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" ph...

Junior High and High School aged kids packed out a couple of theaters to see the movie Twilight, and along with them were my sisters and me. While waiting at least two hours for the movie to begin, the kids in the theater kept themselves occupied with guess the speaker of quotes in the book. One of the young people read aloud from the book that she had brought with her to the theater. The books were very entertaining, but I would never have decided to go to a midnight showing of the movie. Not only that, but we were the first people in line! I would have chosen to sleep, but to me, this was much more of a good time for us sisters to hang out and do something crazy. Noah stayed at home with Magdalena, and she was her sweet self for her daddy. Jennifer (Gigi), Lori (Loli), and me

As I write in a previous post, Gigi cut Magdalena's nails the first time that it had to be done. From my sisters' mistakes I have learned so much, and because the skin is so close to a baby's nail one of them accidentally cut their child's skin. I was terrified that I would do this. But as in many of our daily situations, it had to be done, so we were forced into taking that leap. Unfortunately, Magdalena received her first bo bo from her mommy, but thankfully only on one finger. The rest still have all of their skin!

God uses time and life to change and mold people. Personal experience has really put force behind that statement. In college I was a bubbly, outgoing person who was very talkative. I can't give a day that I changed, but I did. I lived in my own little world not truly understanding the world that surrounded me. God used this way of thinking as a shield and kept me safe in terrible situations that I put myself in not realizing how deep a sinner's heart can truly be. And He has given me a reality check many times in my short life to remind me that He is the king, and I should not assume that I deserve anything. Or it could partly be related to me living outside of my own culture, and then, returning finding life had continued on and trying to find my place in it. Struggling to find words is an understatement for me now. I really get tied in knots now, and it doesn't come as naturally as it used to in the past. Although the southern culture that I live in would beg to differ, I...

I don't know why God decided to bless our lives with Magdalena, and I can't even begin to try to figure it out. I do know that when I look into her face all I see is pure, innocent beauty. No sickness. No pain. Just beauty. I know that I am one of many parents who have biased opinions on their child, but I am amazed what God has created through Noah and me. She is beautiful. Many parts of the day I enjoy just looking at her. Her small hands, tiny fingers, and a nose that is shaped like her Daddy's. And she has begun to communicate very clearly with us. Her noisy cries tell us if there is something wrong, and a sound similar to the screaming lets us know that she is trying to convey some sort of message but she is not upset. Our discussions become more interesting as each day passes. I am amazed that she can do these things. I knew little of what to expect from the usual type of newborn babies, but from what I read of T18 babies Magdalena's personality is not what I had ...

Today a college friend came to meet Magdalena. I met Dawn my sophomore year in college, and we, along with two other friends, hung out and watched the Golden Girls, and often times we compared our personalities to the ladies on the show. Our girls nights out where always a blast! No matter how much time passes without seeing each other it feels like we pick up where we left off. She is an incredible friend to me. Dawn and her husband brought their 5 week old son, Joseph, so that we could meet him too!

Magdalena loved the balloon that Mimi and Papa gave her. She held onto it, and looked at it the entire night! My sisters, Lori and Jennifer, and I loving on Magdalena together My oldest sister, Lori ( Loli to Magdalena), is always so thoughtful. It is partly because she has had more life experience and partly because it is just her nature. She thinks of all of the small details that makes things extra special. She made Magdalena a birthday cake, found candles for it, and arranged everything. I could not have asked for a better big sis! Our family party was such a fun celebration, and Magdalena got a lot of "first" gifts. Mimi and Papa gave her the first big girl dress that she can wear (size newborn), Gigi gave her the first piece of jewelry , a cross necklace (and a high school musical card which sings to her), Loli gave her the first pair of shoes, and Caroline made her a card and thoughtfully gave her a plant from the playground and stuffed animal that she won at the f...

Yay! I am so happy to share that Magdalena is 100 days today! How amazing! We began the day with a visit from Rosa, Magdalena's nurse. And look what she brought her to celebrate! I didn't think about taking a picture of them both together until after she left, so I must do that and post one soon! Then, we left for Emma's school. I was so nervous because it was the first time that Magdalena has ridden in a car while being the only one in the back seat. I had her heart monitor on so that I could watch that she was ok in case I couldn't hear her. The school is only five minutes away from my house, but I was nervous! We went so that Magdalena could participate in an activity which makes Christmas ornaments with the hand print and/or foot print of the kids. Here are some pics of Magdalena with her cousin Emma.

We just took fall pictures! There is a sneak peak on Andrea's blog if you want to look!

I am trying to be a little more consistent in my contributions to this blog. Julie has done such an amazing job of writing from her heart that I don't always feel that I can contribute much of substance. But as Magdalena's father, I want to share from a little different perspective. This is the latest... As the weather has gotten a little cooler recently, I have started to go for walks with Magdalena in the afternoons. It has become one of my favorite things to do. She seems to enjoy it as well. It is so much fun wrapping her up and carrying her around and talking to her about all the things that we see. We pretty much only stay in the area of the townhomes, but there is still a lot to see and discuss. Her eyes go all over that place as she tries to take it all in. The other day, she was very fussy and upset so I decided that it would be a great time to go for a walk. She was crying loudly as we went out the door and then her whole demeanor changed as she recognized that we ...

As Magdalena grows we continue to have to increase her feedings. As of yesterday, she now intakes almost three ounces every three hours (when we brought her home she took only one ounce). We are still learning how to know when to increase it and when she is showing signs that she is hungry. Her first feeding of the day we always give NG, which means we let her continue to sleep while we put it into her tummy through the tube. All other times we let her suck out of the bottle as much as she is able to before tiring, and we feed the rest to her through the tube. This morning I am not sure what I did different, but I put the large amount of formula too quickly into her belly. I realized this because she had a major spit up problem while on our bed, which is not at all normal for her. She was very upset by this, but after a bit of time she forgave me. Much more quickly than I had expected. We changed her clothes again and put the sheets in the washer, and she cuddled with me while giving m...

Like so many people, driving is the time when I really think about things. Things that I want to think about. Things that I have been avoiding. When thinking on these fall months this past summer I never thought that we would have Magdalena with us. The odds would be that we would only have a few days. I had thought that these holidays would bring a sadness that is not known to everyone. However, we have been blessed with so much time that I find it hard to believe that it is already November. Yet, I hate to think about the upcoming holidays and to become too hopeful. I am such a planner which can be a blessing and a curse depending on the situation. By now I would be practically done with my Christmas shopping, picking out paper, and wrapping the presents, but I don't find myself looking forward to that at all. The unknown haunts my brain constantly. I am looking and praying for medium ground. Ground where I can accept the unknown and worship God for giving us His son, the whole p...

The weekends are usually my prime time to blog because I have an amazing husband who helps me so much with Magdalena and gives me mind breaks. However, I have used my breaks reading Twilight, a book that my sisters have gotten me involved in. They were reading the series while I was in the hospital having Magdalena, and every time they were together they discussed it. It drove me crazy that I had to get involved in what was so great, and I have to say that I am not at all disappointed!! There is a lot to share, so I hope that I don't leave anything out. Let me start at the beginning of our weekend... I did not know that Noah took this picture of me, but this is what I was like by Friday...exhausted. Being a new mommy is tough, but Magdalena and I hang in there together even through some nap time! I didn't mean to fall asleep! While the night was still early I woke up and cooked Noah his favorite meal to celebrate his birthday. Although his birthday was Sunday I did this ...

Today I finally went for my dentist check-up. I just knew that I was going to have to get lots of work done on my teeth, but thankfully I was all in the clear. Yay! I won't have to return for another six months! Magdalena behaved wonderfully for daddy while I was out, and in fact we had a great time all day. With Magdalena being our first child we have no idea what to expect on so many levels with a baby. But today like so many others she has shown me how much she is just like any other baby. Sometimes she is fussy and sometimes she is happy. Today she was in an incredible mood. Now that we have finally gotten confident with the amount of food to give her, she can spend her time looking around and playing with us instead of crying because of hunger. With the help of Magdalena's nurse and doctor we have come to finally realize that although Magdalena is "different", she is still simply a baby. As she grows we will feed her more. This sounds simple. Feed he...

I just had to share this adorable picture of Magdalena and her daddy. I am not sure where the other sock is!

I will never say it enough. Noah and I are amazed at God's grace by giving us so many days with our precious daughter. One of my biggest fears since bringing Magdalena home was to give her a bath, and honestly, I have not done it alone since Magdalena has been home. I just didn't think that I could handle it, so every time my mom came over she would help me so much by doing this. She knew that this was her special time with Magdalena. Well, Mimi (my mom) has been sick, so I knew it inevitable. I was going to have to give her a bath by myself. Thankfully, Magdalena has been putting on weight, can move around a little (but not too much), and I had watched my mom do it many times. I was scared that I would make the water too hot or too cold, or it would be too high or too low. I enlisted Noah to help me complete this scary task, and I am happy to say that it was a complete success! Not only did we scrub her down well, but she actually enjoyed lying in the water for a bit...

Magdalena has gotten to where she can just hang out while mommy and daddy do things around the house. Sometimes it is washing clothes or making lunch, but here daddy had made her a comfy spot on the couch. She loves to be snuggled up in this blanket! You can tell that she wants to open her eyes but just can't do it because she is so comfortable.