This was one of my favorite chapters, and it caused me to really do some self evaluation. How closely am I walking with God? At times why do I exchange this great gift from God for something of this world. For me, it is control. I want to be in control of all that is going on in my life, and when things are not going according to plan, like with Magdalena's sickness, I am forced to remember that God's power is greater than mine. His plan is better than mine, and I will not always see his reasoning in every situation. I have to completely let go of everything to fully gain Him. I like how Nancy says that we need to "clear out the clutter". There can be one be sweep, but it is also a daily giving to God those things to which we may cling, like my control. Some days I more easily let it go than others. But for me to be fully in His presence I must repent, "turn away from everything opposed to God and turn whole heartedly toward Him". She has us read in Luke 24 where Jesus was walking alongside some of His followers. They felt a burning in their heart, but they did not recognize Him. I super highlighted what Nancy says here "They were simply too lost in their sadness, too disappointed by his death, and too desperate to make sense of their lives to see Jesus. They were too busy talking about Jesus to enjoy his very presence." "He's right here with us, and we don't recognize him. We're disappointed he has not come through for us in the way we hoped he would that we can't appreciate his presence. We're sad that we simply can't see him." I tried to hold onto Magdalena, Magdalena's memory, and now, Walt. But I need to daily give my children to God. They are beautiful gifts from Him, but trying to hold onto the people that I love, instead of giving them to Him, keeps me out of His presence. To give it to Him daily each morning I try to have my time of quiet before Walt wakes up and the day begins.
I am thankful that God continues to pursue me despite my sinfulness.