O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

I don't know Lisa, but this was a great creation! I found it in the Southern Generations cookbook. Noah loved this dish, and commented that it should now be made on the holidays. It has the same flavor as corn pudding, but it was much lighter. The worst things that you can do on a holiday is get filled up on one dish! (serves 6 to9) 6T of butter 2T of sugar 2T of flour 1/2C half and half cream 4 eggs well beaten 1,1/2 tsp baking powder 2 (12 oz) cans cream style corn (I accidentally put in almost all of the 14 oz can and it turned out to be fine) Heat butter with sugar in a saucepan until melted. Stir in flour until well blended. Remove from heat. Gradually add cream, eggs, and baking powder. Blend well. Combine with corn and pour into a buttered 1,1/2 quart casserole dish. Bake uncovered at 350 for 45 minutes. If I can do it, you can do it!

On friday evening the seminary had their annual luau, and this year Noah and I were so happy to participate! Noah did his favorite thing by cooking hamburgers the entire time! Life is different now for us because this luau is the perfect example of how we participate in normal life again. Noah enters into it wonderfully, while I struggle to know what to do. It must sound crazy, but it is hard to explain too. Walt is having a blast living near kids that he can "play" with and attempt to pull their hair. He continues to flirt with his smile, but he is just a little sleepy in this family photo.

Many of you are thinking that it is about time that I do this to my blog!! Look around at the cool new features that are happening! You can follow on Twitter, join our FB group, send me a nice email, or subscribe to the blog. If you subscribe, you will be sent an email to know when a new entry has been written! I am behind in technology so I am completely amazed!! I love organization, so the top part is my favorite! If you are doing the One Year of Hope study, or if you start it late, you can click on the link above to read all of the entries associated with it. I hope that all of you like the new look and cool new things that are happening!

I have avoided this week's study and put it off as long as possible. It forces me to consciously think about the day that Magdalena died. Just as Nancy begins the chapter with how she "feels the weight and trauma of it as if it were yesterday", I do too. January 13th is that day, and just its presence creeping up on my causes my heart to triple in weight. I remember holding onto her life, not wanting her to leave me, but also, I did not want her to suffer. Even now as I look back, I can see how God gave her and our family so much mercy by now allowing her to suffer when he brought her to be with Him. This eases my mind, but it doesn't make me miss her any less. Before Magdalena I am not sure how often I thought of death. I think that I associated it more with getting old and a natural part of life, but I can't say that I have ever feared it, and now, after losing Magdalena, fear has not crossed my mind. I know that it is not like that for all of you. ...

Did you see on the previous post what I had just bought? Well, it wasn't 24 hours before I needed it with Walt. I am SO thankful that I had bought it. Walt is not happy about it at all! And he has gotten so strong that I have had to figure out a position to hold him down where his head doesn't move and all arms are out of the way so that I can actually use the red dragon! After I use it he continues to fuss at me for a little while too, which are just pitiful yells that are hard not to chuckle at. Walt's name is quickly changing from my "little man" to my "wild man" because he is a handful!! He and I will get out his toys together, and before I know it, he has left his toys and is into something of mine, a drawer full of cards, or something that he could tear or poke his eye with! I have tried to baby proof, but it is not working! Because I am working from home I am really having to learn how to juggle my time of cleaning, playing with Walt, and...

One of the new vegetable dishes definitely caught me by surprise last night. I was expecting more of a black-eyed pea dish with some seasoning additions, but the recipe really made everything equal. It is definitely good and tasty, but you can't have the thought of traditional black-eyed peas in your mind. I never cook with bacon, so I really ventured out there with this one! I got the recipe from the Southern Generations cookbook. Just like his sister, Walt hates to have his snot removed from his nose, but it is that time of year and our syringe busted. The one from the hospital is the BEST, so I went on a search there to get another one. Thankfully, they do sell them. The best five bucks I have ever spent! And the irony is that we woke up this morning and Walt had a runny nose, so it was perfect timing! We call our syringe The Red Dragon, a name given to it by our wonderful, sweet hospice nurse, Rosa, when Magdalena had to use it.

When I found out that I would be a working-from-home mom, Noah and I really thought about moving into a different townhome, one that would be closer to other families and other moms. At first, the technical part of it seemed easy because we would put everything in exactly the same place but in a different home. Well, all of the homes are different so it was much more drastic of a move than I had thought. Emotionally, it was tiring. We had to realize that this home was temporary, and one day we would have to move away from the place that Magdalena was with us, and this was best for our family. Noah and I took turns dealing with small things of hers. I moved her boxes and clothes before the real moving began and found a special, new place for them. But there were some small, unexpected things that I had to deal with that caught me off guard. Some things I had left around the house just for me as a reminder of her, and it wasn't until the move that I realized Noah didn't ...

About a month ago, Noah and I moved to be closer to other seminary families. It didn't take long before we realized that the mud hole close to our door was going to be a major problem. It was gross and my friend, Aimee, who helped move us, stepped in it once (although there were many "almost" times). It was funny, but I knew that my time to fall in was quickly approaching! The neighborhood kids loved this hole, and they played in it with sticks everyday. This didn't bother us. In fact, we enjoyed having everyone around until the rain came. When it rained the mud that had been pushed on the sidewalk by the kids became wet and found its way into our house when we would come inside. Noah worked so hard for me and filled in the hole with sand, etc. to get it not to form. It took so long that he is still trying to regroup to do the opposite side! Here are some pics of that fun event. Walt helped daddy by playing with the sand and eating some too!

This sweet lady came downstairs to get all of the toys from the car, and she had to wait on us to arrive! I began to lose time towards the end of the day and was late! She was so sweet with us, so I thought I would give her a little shout out on the blog! Thank you! These are all of the toys that we collected for Batson Children's Hospital from Magdalena's Birthday Balloons party! Thank you so much to everyone who came and celebrated the day that Magdalena was born by helping other children! A sweet friend took pictures of the party, so I will post those soon!

Today is the big day! I am officially a work-from-home mom! Because I taught high school, I have felt for the last week that it was still summer while everyone else began school. But today as my students get to working on their online classwork (enthusiastically, I'm sure) I feel as though I have officially moved into a different direction. It feels more natural than weird, but I am terrified! So far Walt is hanging in there with me, and we are having a blast! One of my favorite things to do so far is cook, which I didn't have time for while working. I am not a chef. I like things simple. But I love being able to give my Noah a good meal after he has been working or at school all day. I think that he is enjoying it too! His pants were getting a little too loose! I have not been taking pictures of my new creations, but I think that I should so that we can all cheer each other on! I will try to post pictures and links to the recipe so that if you are interested, you can try it ou...

Measure not God's love and favor by your own feelings. The sun shines as clearly in the darkest day as it does in the brightest. The difference is not in the sun, but in some clouds which hinder the manifestation of the light thereof. - Richard Sibbes This past spring break Noah and I decided it was time to finalize Magdalena's marker. It seems like a simple, obvious next step, but really we had to commit ourselves to doing it because it is not something either of us wanted to do. We got there only to realize that our vision of what we wanted could not happen, so we left in tears and very angry. Couldn't I give my daughter what I wanted? I wanted something pink and girly, but it is hard to make this happen in a place where it isn't natural to bury your child. This dragged out until the summer when again Noah and I told ourselves that this must be done. We had to decide on something for her marker. We revisited the situation, and although we didn't get exact...

Noah and I have been saving for a long time to have multiple things done with our pictures. We LOVE pictures and little things to capture memories. Well, this past spring we finally got everything ordered, and my mom and grandmom have one framed for my birthday. I had to share because I adore all of these things around my home! This is my favorite, and I am so thankful to have a mom who knows about framing and hanging pictures. Even though it was extremely emotional for her to do so, she went and picked out the perfect frame. Because my camera lacks quality, this picture does not do the portrait justice at all, but I hope that you can get an idea! I can definitely see how a picture like this might make someone sad, but for Noah and me it helps us to have a sweet, beautiful reminder of her. Noah and I decided to get canvases of both Walt and Magdalena so that if God should bless us with more children we could add all of their newborn shots together or easily put them in small grou...

August is always a big month for us. Shortly after a bittersweet beginning remembering our sweet Magdalena, we move on to my birthday and our anniversary. Walt has not completely grasped the concept of how to behave on birthdays because screamed a lot that day. Don't let this smile fool you! But he is a sweet boy, and it looks like he will be showing us some teeth any day now. Here is a pic of my little man and me as we head to Chili's to eat a birthday meal. Walt was great for most of the meal, and Noah and I were so glad for a change and eating out!

There is a ticket being given away here to the Relevant Conference , which I have posted about before. You guys may be getting sick of hearing about it! Sorry about that, but I really want to go! I would love to use the blog to help more parents who are grieving, and maybe it can help push Joy in the Morning off of the ground. So...would you be will to put in a good word for me on the website . You do this by liking the company on Facebook , Twitter , or any of the gadgets, and tell them that you did it for this particular blog! You have to be sure to return to My Blessed Life letting them know what you did. It technically is not part of the rules, but I thought that maybe it could help! I am not sure how I will get there once I get a ticket, but getting a ticket is half the battle! Thanks for your help!

This week was such a good, exhausting week, and I am spending today trying to rest emotionally and physically from it all. We took the butterfly cake to the NICU nurses, and here is Walt with some of our favorites! They were so busy that day, but they still took the time to come out and say hello to my little man! I remember sitting in the hospital bed meeting Diane, Magdalena's nurse, for the first time on August 6, 2008. Little did I know how special these women would become to me and my entire family. They made us leaving our sweet Magdalena in the hospital a little easier and bent the rules so that everyone, even my nieces, had the chance to celebrate her life. Words will never be able to express how much we love these sweet ladies (and some that aren't pictured). He would be smiling like he does normally but it was just about nap time. Because the people in my family are close and everyone would want a way to recognize Friday as Magdalena's day, I made these cu...