Skip to main content

Week 2 - Wrestling with God's Plan

Hebrews 5: 7-8 In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Nancy asks us to look at Hebrews 4:14-5:10 and consider the good things that resulted from God's plan and to list the benefits.
I continue to struggle with God's plan because all of the things that came out of my loss does not replace Magdalena. I would give anything to hold her and to know what she would like like right now as a 20 month old little girl.
So answering this exact question is tough for me. I do know that when we came to terms with the fact that God had not healed Magdalena, we began to pray for other things, which He gave us. He gave us the gift of time to be able to bring her home and create uncountable memories. I do know that God has and will continue to do great things through her life. It is hard for me to recognize myself in old pictures. My face is the same, but I don't know who that person is anymore. When Magdalena died I was forever changed into someone else, and even now as a mother of a son, he continues to mold me. God willing I will see the fruits of Magdalena's short life in the future, and if not here on this earth, I know that she has crowns to fit her princess personality up there in heaven.

Comments

  1. Thanks for walking through this on the blog.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love to hear from you!

Popular posts from this blog

Magdalena Grace Roberts

This morning Magdalena left this world to be with Jesus. There really isn't too much else I can say but to please pray for Julie and Noah. For now, they do not want any calls, emails or visits. I will you keep you updated on the arrangements.

Making the Decision to Not Make the Decision

I get the question, "Are you going to have any more kids?" asked often. Since finding out Magdalena's diagnosis it was always a tough question to answer. We had always envisioned ourselves with multiple children, but there was always the lingering thought of having to endure this difficult situation again. Although it is less than a one percent chance that we would have another child with T18, the percentage still exists. When pregnant, I said multiple times that I couldn't do this again and my mom constantly reminded me that it is not always that difficult. Being pregnant was physically uncomfortable, but I was referring to the constant emotional exhaustion. As Magdalena continued to do well, Noah and I weren't sure when to begin thinking about other children. Noah and I discussed that I would work really hard at losing my weight, but I was willing to be five pounds more than what I was originally. People poked fun at my not eating Magdalena's birthday cakes