With spring here there are flowers and bright colors everywhere I go. Magdalena would have loved the spring. She would have loved to have looked around at the flowers and been outside during this beautiful weather. She would have loved it, and that is what I have been thinking about daily since this weather change has begun. And since I think of her every time that I see a butterfly, butterflies are everywhere. I see people wearing them on their shirt, shoes, necklaces, and they are everywhere in Target right now. I can't help but wonder if the people know what they symbolize and mean, or are they wearing them just because it is nice. I would have been the latter before Magdalena, but now, if you see a butterfly or something pink near me it was intentional. It helps me to carry her with me wherever I go.
Easter is always a bittersweet time for us because we know that it is on this day that we celebrate that we will be able to see Magdalena again. Jesus did not remain dead, but he arose so that we could have life with him in heaven. But I know that just hearing Magdalena's name on Easter morning makes me think of her and how she is no longer with us. It is undeniable that I will hear her name because Mary Magdalene (Magdalena is her name in Spanish) was the first to see Jesus when he arose. I know that God gave her that name for a purpose, and when Noah and I chose it we didn't know that it would be that she would be the first of us to see Jesus.
It is my selfish heart that aches and cries for Magdalena on these days because I know that these should be the biggest day of celebration for her. It is just so hard to remember that when my heart aches so much that I could cry for days. Crying doesn't mean that I am without hope though, it is just my time to be able to release my longings to hold her right now.
11 But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. 13 They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”18 Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her.
"The higher the mountains, the more understandable is the glory of Him who made them and who holds them in His hand." - Francis Schaeffer