Thursday, February 18, 2010

Magdalena's Loli

Have you started the One Year of Hope, yet? I hope that if you are suffering in this world, you will consider reading it with us. There is no pressure to be on a particular schedule. You can read a chapter in one day or read a little daily. I know that many who may choose to go through the book have lost a child, but everyone has suffered in different ways and the book leads you to the hope found only in Christ. I hope that you will join us in our study and by posting a comment, share your thoughts, feelings, and fears. Although we don't know each other, we will support each other.

Noah and I are praying about the particular direction of Joy in the Morning. We are not sure if we want it to go alongside a church counseling program that already exists, go underneath the umbrella of a non-profit organization, or branch out on our own. There are so many details doing any of the three that we are in prayer right now about the direction. I was talking with my sister about it, and I realized that my family doesn't really comment on us trying to start this up. For a little while I couldn't understand it, and I thought about it often and questioned myself. Was I including them? Do they want to be involved? As we continued in our conversation, she told me that she wasn't sure what she could do in it or how she could be involved. I immediately thought that she could do what she did for me. She is Magdalena's Loli, full of strength, and she could be strong for others! She was quick to answer that she couldn't do it again. All night I thought about what she said. I didn't want her to feel pressured, but I was worried that she really didn't know her gifts. She was so great at helping me through everything. It hit me like a bolt of lightning! She is Magdalena's Loli, but she really can't be a Loli to anyone else. God gave her the strength that she needed to help sustain me, keep me focused, and to help me. If she were called to do it again, I know that she could. I am realizing that through all that she did for me, I am now Loli, and that is what I feel called to do for others. I want to be "Loli" to those who are suffering. Everyone needs a Loli in their lives. The original is definitely the best! Maybe I can take after her a bit.

Thank you, Lori, for being the best big sis a girl could ask for. From day one you found Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, searched for ways to help us deal with her pain, talked with my nieces so that they would love how special Magdalena would be, took pictures and recorded every second of her birth, helped us cherish our time with Magdalena and create memories and mementos that I would never have thought of. You loved our Magdalena as though she were yours, you made all of the arrangements for her funeral knowing I lacked the ability, and even now, as we grieve differently, you allow Magdalena's life to be used to share Christ. If I can give others a bit of what you gave me, I will have succeeded. God used Magdalena to bridge the gap that had grown large between us, and she continues to remind me that He gave me you. I love you.

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