Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Bad Week"

To say that this week has been hard is an understatement. I can't believe that I have made it up until this day. One day I drove to the school, sat outside, and I almost didn't think that I could make it in. Thankfully, my students have been incredible despite what my heart has been feeling. It is another way I see God's mercy. I hate it when days like this are one after another. My head tells me that what I am feeling is ridiculous. This guilt and pain for so many things does not exist from God. I know this, but, yet, I can't get over the hurdle. My husband is relentless, thankfully, and continues to pursue me during these times. Telling him "I don't want to talk about it." is not enough. I really don't want to talk about it. Yet, he always pulls me back to reality. I don't mean that the pain instantly disappears, and I jump up and down. I mean that I see sight of the road again when for a day I thought I was going in a downward spiral.
I sit here with a good book, which, by the way, I recommend to everyone, a glass of wine, and I am comforted by the fact that my God is in control. He will overcome these evil thoughts, the bad dreams that come from them, and that one day my pain will be removed when I get to see him holding my precious daughter that I miss so very much.

3 comments:

  1. Julie, I am praying for you this morning. Don't we all wish we had the right words to say, but I know I don't. I am relieved this morning, though, to be able to pray knowing that you already know the one who does have the right words. So just know I am praying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are in my prayers, sweet Julie!

    Linda

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you!