Sunday, June 22, 2008

A Sweet Friend

So many people have been so kind to me during this time in my life, but I want to mention a special friend. I won't mention her name because I haven't told her that I am writing about her, but she will know who she is. She had a baby die early and unexpectedly, and has offered many ideas to my sister since finding out about Magdalena's disease. (She is technically a friend of my sister's, but we are bound together through a common bond.) Things that I may have never considered before, but since my friend had been there, she knew. These things to consider or ideas have helped open discussions between Noah and I so that we keep our feet grounded.

Well, my special friend and I had a good small talk last night that meant so much to me. She showed me how to keep the memory alive of a sweet baby. Also, she taught me to do the smallest things that will make me feel better as the mommy, even if noone understands.

Every time I go to Wal-mart by myself I walk down the baby aisle. The same things are there every time I go, but I always spend at least ten minutes looking.
When I go into the baby's room I think of all the small things that are missing. Small, insignificant things like baby bath, wipes, lotion, baby towels, etc. I want so badly to fill the shelves in the closet with things for her. Then, on my trips to Wal-mart I stare at these items as I walk down the baby isle, and I am so tempted to put them in my buggie. I even pick them up, and sometimes put them inside my buggie, only to remove them. I tell myself that I should come to my senses. My sweet friend taught me that by doing these things is a way to deal with my pain, even if it doesn't seem to make sense to some people.

Maybe next time I will buy Magdalena a little something....

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:44 PM

    HEY THERE. I AM AN OLD FRIEND OF NOAH'S. THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT THE BLOG. MAKE SURE TO READ BACK BLOGS. http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com
    She has just been through something similer. pete brucker

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  2. You are in our prayers. Cathy & Annabel

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  3. It always amazes me how God's timing is always perfect when He puts people in our lives - just like our special friend.

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  4. who wouldn't want to give their sweet little girl a gift? it makes perfect sense to me...

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  5. I am so glad the Lord sent you this friend at just the right time. I am a grandma now and when I am shopping for things for the kids, I love seeing pregnant mommies in the baby department. I can't help but smile at them. This post makes me realize that any one of these ladies could be walking a similar road to the one you are on. I hope the smiles and words I give them are blessed. Please go ahead and let your mommy heart lead you to buy special little things for Magdalena now as you enjoy her moving and kicking safely inside your tummy. She is your little girl and her life has such great purpose now. It is not false hope, it is HOPE. You are a mommy now and I am praying for you and Noah as you walk this road together and make plans. Praying this morning for your week to be blessed.

    Laurie in Ca.

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  6. I did what you are doing. I picked up and put back and said the "should I; shouldn't I's" over and over again. I ended up just buying some of the essentials (bassinet, car seat/stroller combo, bathtub, diaper bag, mini-shampoo, lotion, butt cream and a few preemie outfits). I never wanted to assume that our Eva wasn't coming home w/ us. And even though she didn't, I am so glad I had what she needed in case she would have. I didn't want to have to worry about making it to the store during the first few days of her life. I didn't want to have to ask or tell others what to get from the store. I wanted to cherish every minute w/ her and to never leave her side. So now, even though we have items that we purchased w/ hopes that they would have been put to use...we have since then packed them up and are storing them in the basement for future use. If we ourselves have no need for them in the future...we have them to give away, sell or even donate. I hope this helps w/ the thoughts of buying something, anything for that matter. It was just my way of dealing w/ the unpredictable journey of Trisomy 18. Thinking of you daily and lifting you up just as much. Love, Chrissy

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  7. Anonymous5:15 PM

    Julie, you may already know about the local photographers who belong to the "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Organization". If not, then please know that the following photographers will come to the hospital to take pictures of Magdalena, free of charge. And will provide you with a DVD of the pictures that will capture the first moments of her sweet life:

    Name: Amy Johnson
    Email: agjohnson@bellsouth.net
    Phone Number: 601-829-3487
    Cell Phone: 601-946-6723
    Studio Phone: 601-829-3487
    Website: agjohnsonphotography.com

    and

    Name: Rachael Boyer
    Email: rachael@pistudios.ws
    Phone Number: 601-854-6200
    Cell Phone: 601-500-0563
    Studio Phone: 601-944-9909
    Website: www.pistudios.ws

    Your family is in my prayers!

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