Monday, June 16, 2008

God's Wonder

This summer has been an excellent time of relaxation for me. I have been able to keep up my house better, make Noah's lunch, go to the pool, etc. My professors for my last classes, which were in the spring, in the master's program did give me extra time to finish my work because I had gotten so distracted with Magdalena's news in April, and I just needed the time to deal with it. I lack only the final project of one class now, but doing that type of work is not stressful to me. Being able to keep the stress level low for school helped me to get it done, finish well, and still learn. Without the kindness of the university and professors, I can't say that I wouldn't have just given up at that point. I can't wait to see how God is going to use me having that degree because I have learned so much from it.

So I was enjoying a hot summer day last week driving while sipping on a cold, cherry diet coke when I heard a song that got my attention. It was Natalie Merchant's "Wonder". I don't know a lot about Natalie Merchant's beliefs or personal life or what her meaning of the song was, but I do know that God used it as a reminder to me. I write a lot about preparing for Magdalena's death and celebrating her small life because the odds of her surviving beyond her first year are less than 5%. I believe that God can work miracles, just as can be seen in the life of Annabel Grace who is three years old living with Trisomy 18 However, I do want to be realistic of the huge possibility that God may choose her to come home early, and this is where the hope is. Her life was not meaningless, but full of wonder because she is a creation of God, and it is truly a miracle that she has continued to live this long when about 50% of Trisomy 18 babies don't. It is sad to me that many women and doctors don't recognize a Trisomy 18 baby as one of God's sweet blessings and creations, and they agree with terminating the pregnancy early. As I feel her kicking inside me now (she must know that I am writing about her), I just cannot imagine losing her before God's timing.

It is not only a disease like Trisomy 18, Edward's Syndrome, that takes the life of little babies. Let us not assume that "this would never happen to me or my friends" but allow us continue to pray for the women who are pregnant and their children's safe delivery into the world; yet, at the same time let us not see hopelessness if a baby does not arrive safely into this world. Let us be reminded that God's hand is in all things, and he is our main comfort and support. God uses even the tiniest wonders to praise His name.


  1. Hi, Julie. You are such a wonderful writer! I love that Natalie Merchant song. I don't know much about her either. But I love how God can use anything to remind us of His grace. I am thankful that you and Noah value your daughter so much. I have loved reading about how you embrace the discomforts of pregnancy because you are so accutely aware of the gift of life growing inside of you. May the Lord use this love that you have for Magdalena as a testimony to the sanctity of life and His creation.

  2. Per our earlier discussion, very well said.

  3. It is always a great test of my own faith to read your blog (which I do on a regular basis) and you have really challenged me to be more diligent with my own prayer life. Thank you so much for reminding me to thank God every day for the blessings He chooses to bring into our lives, and for patience and wisdom as we wait on Him to reveal His perfect plan. I feel so blessed to know you, Julie, and I know you are shining so brightly for Him in all that you do.

    Also, I love that you and Katie have met. I always enjoyed spending time with her in Jackson on my frequent trips to Clinton, and I am so happy to see God showing us how small our little world is, but how significant our relationships with each other can become if He is at the center.

  4. Julie, Hi, I am Cathy, Annabel's mom. You made a comment on her blog site today and I wanted to Thank You! You also asked if you could place her name on the side bar and of course, you may. I was not given hope when we brought Annabel home. I was too busy and nervous to even search the internet. Since, I have found there are way more survivors than the drs. tell you. God is truly the only one who know how long our precious babies will be here. You obviously already know this. Could I place a link to your blog on my site also? If you ever need to talk you can contact me on my email and I could give you my cell. Thank you and God Bless your precious growing family.
    Cathy & Annabel

  5. Great blog, Baby! It is well written and profound. I am in tears. I love you (and sweet little Magdalena) so much!

  6. Hi Julie,

    My dear friend Cathy up above emailed me about you today and I am so glad she did. I would like you to know I will be praying for Magdalena and the
    precious days God has numbered just for her. I read your story this morning and love that you and Noah set up her crib. Celebrate her life with hope. I have prayed for over 20 of these precious babies over the past year and each one is unique, no two alike, yet each one has blessed their families with so much joy inspite of the sorrow. I am amazed as each mother holds onto the hope of the Lord through all of the emotions that come along with this diagnosis. They each are unique in how they get through one day at a time. The common thread is the Lord, the One who has his eyes on your baby girl and you. He is so faithful and loves you so much. I will be putting you on my LIST of "my girls" and pray you through the days until you meet your treasure.
    Her life has great purpose and God does not make mistakes.

    Laurie in Ca.

  7. Just found your blog. Praying for you during this time.

  8. Hi Julie,
    Just got your sweet comment. Yes you can add me to your prayer list. Any prayer is good and any strength I have is from above.

  9. Wow Julie! I just read your new blog and it really touched me. You are an amazing person and such a true example of God's bigger plans for us. Thank you for being such a huge witness to everyone's lives as we watch you and Noah go through this. I love you all and continue to pray for your entire family...

  10. Thinking of you and your precious baby girl tonight. You will remain in my thoughts, as well as my prayers.

    Forever Five Days Our Family of Five!

  11. I'm still following your story and praying for you. I really admire your honesty and courage. Magdalena is so blessed to have you all for parents. What a loved little baby.


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