Sunday, June 01, 2008

Knowing Magdalena

This disease has affected everyone in my family. There is always the arrogant assumption made that things like this could never happen to me, and here we are dealing with a disease that we had never heard of before Magdalena. That is what makes her even so more special to me because she reminds me daily of our dependence upon God and His strength. There are so many times when I see another pregnant woman or baby and tell God that this just is not fair. I can even feel myself getting angry at the situation, but then, I feel a little kick and I am reminded by her that this is her purpose in life, no matter how long or short.
As I begin my 30th week of pregnancy I am getting a bit scared as our time with her in my belly is quickly coming to an end. She daily tells me she loves me, and sometimes she even makes mistakes by kicking my bladder but she is always quick to apologize. Her movements are her way of communicating with me, and that is our bond. I am the only one who knows her this well, and even when she keeps me up at night while doing flips in my belly, I love every second of it. Sometimes it makes me laugh out loud with happiness.

I have been torn with the idea of whether or not we should put Magdalena's bed together. When first finding out about her disease I didn't think that I would because of how unlikely she will be able to return home with us. Nothing is impossible with God, and we are praying for even a moment. I realized that I don't want to and I can't deny her existance, and I do enjoy feeling closer to her by sitting in her room and looking at the few items that her Mimi and Papa bought for her. Noah and I have decided to have it put together so that we can enjoy anything that is associated with her sweet life, even something as simple as a bed.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Julie, I love you and am praying for you. Just wanted to let you know.

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  2. Becky DeWett11:15 PM

    Julie,

    I am amazed at your maturity and faith through this time. What a woman of God you have become! Know that you are in my prayers and thoughts daily.

    In His Hope,

    Becky DeWett
    Kyiv, Ukraine

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