My mom and I have watched The Christmas Cottage since it came out in 2008, and with the help of Netflix, I was happy to share it with Noah last night. It is based on the life of Thomas Kinkade, who we all know as a famous artist. Thomas and his younger brother return home from college for the holidays to find their mom swimming in bills and a broken house. While working to save their family's cottage, Thomas spends time with his mentor, a famous artist. Without giving too much away, let me say that this is a sweet movie, which left us in tears at the end in a good way. The famous artist is attempting to leave the world with a painting of his wife so that she can be remembered by all. He finally realizes that he is only painting the pain that is caused by his longing to be with her, and that she should be remember through light.
Glen, "I have been trying to paint my sorrow, to show a bleakness of a world without Nicole, but then you came with a candle last night, and I knew what Nicole's memorial should be. Not darkness, but light. Sometimes we can barely see beyond the forest to the sky. I was painting the leaves of the forest and never saw the light of the sky behind it. Now I see it. That's all I need to see now."
Especially around Christmas we can get so caught in our sorrow that it is hard to see the sky. For me, each year has been different, but there is one thing that has been the same through each holiday. I know that there is hope. Certain smells and activities of the season cause my heart to sink. When I receive a Christmas card with a little girl on it that was born the same year as Magdalena, I can't help but try to picture what she would look like. God did not intend for me to carry this burden alone. And with every card I open and barbie doll that I see, I know that I am not alone, and although there may be moments where the sky is hard to find, I know that it is there. I never doubt that I have been left.
No, you are never alone. And you also have those of us who love and remember her too, though only Jesus can truly say He knows your pain. I think about y'all so much this time of year and was so thankful for our time together yesterday!
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