Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Magdalena Pulls Out Her Tube

I really try not to have any regrets with how I did things while we had Magdalena with us, and so many times I have internal arguments with myself. I know that I can't change anything now, but when I think about Magdalena, some little thoughts seem to creep their way in there. I pray that God will allow me to rest in that everything happened the way it was intended. I know that will be a continual battle. Back in December, I was set to have Magdalena's picture taken as we were doing each month, but the night before we were to do it, Magdalena pulled her tube out. Replacing the tube was always an ordeal. She hated it, and that slippery little tube just did not always go in immediately. This is why we took pictures the day we would replace the tube for the "one" time each month. It kept her from having to do it more than necessary. Well, once she pulled it out, I cancelled the picture session trying to limit the number of times we would replace the tube. Well, I hate that we didn't take those pictures. As you can see in the video during this time period she was really showing her personality more than she ever had. The morning of this video she never cried because she was hungry. She just played and played. Noah and I were really confused by this because she just had fun. The reason I regret this so much is because it seemed as though every time we would have Magdalena's picture taken, she had her eyes closed...those beautiful big blue eyes. I am so glad that we continued to flash our camera like crazy, and look at this camera. And here she is just happy to be hanging out. You can see that she was beginning to teethe because she was sucking on her gums. So, no regrets. We have so much to be thankful for that finding a regret with anything associated with Magdalena would make me spoiled.
video

17 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I was so worried about you feeling uncertain about things...I forgot to tell you how wonderful that video of Magdalena is...she is beautiful and so sweet.

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  3. No regrets necessary. You did everything in your power to make sure that Magdalena was a happy little baby girl... and she was. *hugs*

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  4. Hi,
    I have been following your story for some time. You have been in my thoughts and prayers often. As mothers we always have regrets and wishes to do things differently. Through your entries it was easy to see how much you loved (and still love) Magdalena. It was very evident you took such good care of her. She is blessed with wonderful parents.
    I am so happy for you and your new joy on the way. Please know there are many people who think of you often and have you in your prayers. God Bless You and your family! Even though I have only met your family through blog entries- Magdalena has brought me so much joy!

    Love,
    Brandon's Mom
    Melissa

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  5. I think writing these thoughts down, whether for your readers or only yourself, is so helpful. It somehow relieves a little of the weight you're carrying with each word you write. For me anyway.

    Prayers and hugs for you. What a beautiful, beautiful baby girl.

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  6. cuter than a button! y'all should be so proud of the awesome parents that you were to Magdalena...I have learned so much from your wisdom displayed on this blog.

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  7. such a sweet baby girl!
    i noticed when she had her hand raised, it looked like she was making an "i love you" sign in sign language. it made me smile. we do that with my little girl all the time -
    anyway, thanks for sharing the video and your thoughts. you are frequently in my prayers.

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  8. Thank you for sharing this video of your sweet girl!

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  9. Such a beautiful girl. I'm sure that her and my angel girls are watching us from Heaven and telling God every day to bring us peace. God Bless you!

    http://cestep.blogspot.com/

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  10. So, so sweet! I know I can't say anything to alleviate any regrets that you might have. I can definitely say, though, that I LOVE watching this video more than I would enjoy a still-life image of her -- not to say that a picture wouldn't have been wonderful as well. The faces, and ESPECIALLY the hand in the air waving "number one!" makes me remember the Magdalena that I knew and was priviledged to snuggle with a few times. I'm so glad you posted it. THANKS!

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  11. so loved, so content, so big!

    Love,

    Karen

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  12. She's so precious! I know you are thankful that even though you didn't get pictures, you have video and so many other memories and precious things that remind you of that sweet baby girl! What a blessing she was and her memory continues to be, not only for you, but for many others! I'm praying for your heart during this grieving time. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  13. precious little peanut!!

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  14. The girls and I LOVED the video. (we had to watch it a few times :) ) I often tell people that the connection/bond you have with Magdalena is one I rarely see with a mother/child. You are an incredible mom!!!

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  15. Julie & Noah -
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so easy to see how sweet little Magdalena's life was and continues to be such a blessing. Your spirit is so inspiring.

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  16. Magdalena was and is loved and cherished beyond measure.

    Loved the video. So precious!!!

    Love,
    Kathy

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  17. julie- what a cute video. i am so excited about your news- know that we are praying for this pregnancy!

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