Friday, January 30, 2009


A few days after Magdalena's passing Noah and I decided to take a trip together. After contemplating many places, we decided on Washington, D.C. We wanted to be able to go somewhere that we could do fun things together but relax without having a schedule. Thanks to the help of others we were able to take this trip. Yes, we are here in Washington now while I am blogging. We wanted to go ahead and write because we realized after hearing a few voicemails and reading a few emails that we had not told anyone! Please forgive us for not keeping better in touch.
I forgot my coat as we were leaving for the airport, but thanks to my mom she made it to the airport with it JUST as we were loading the plane! Good job, Mom! You can tell by the pictures what the consequence would have been! We are having so much fun! We sleep until we wake up, and then, we walk to a museum that we chose the night before. We leisurely eat, walk, and visit a few sights. This trip has been emotional in more ways that just the learning to grieve part of it. Before taking a tour of the Capitol building, we watched a video about the importance of the place, and it took all I had not to cry. Many of the important acts that have been signed received signatures there, and people found ways to improve the lives of so many of the citizens. This is emotional to me because they found ways to help almost everyone but the unborn who don't have voices. How can you have so many protection laws, and then, think that it is ok to kill? It saddens me, and the entire time I could only think about Magdalena and babies like her. They are so special, and their life does matter!
Also, after eating dinner tonight we spotted a table with an obviously newborn baby. I couldn't help but stare. She was about as big as Magdalena got after five months of living! And she had that sweet face. I really wanted to snuggle with her, but I didn't want the family to think that I would kidnap their child. So I was just the weird stranger staring at the table. As we were leaving we stopped and spoke a little to the father who was holding the baby attempthing to calm her. At that time I almost asked to hold her so that he could eat, but before I could he said something about her being hungry, and I knew, for obvious reasons, that I would be unable to help. The new father asked if we had any children. I almost couldn't hold in the tears because it was the first time we had been asked this since Magdalena left us. Noah had to speak for both of us at that point and lightly explained the situation. Encouragingly the man tried to speak of future children for us, but I could hardly listen trying to keep things inside until we got back to the hotel. We realized that we didn't have a business card to give him, so Noah gave him one of his pictures of her and wrote the blog on the back.
Noah and I have strong days and days where we can hardly stand it we miss her. There will never be a day that passes where we won't miss her, but I am glad that we can talk about her and share her. I love talking about her. I may tear up a bit, but please just know that I would rather talk about her than ignore all that has happened. She remains still our little miracle.


  1. Know that if we ever bumped into each other as strangers on the street, I'd love to hear about sweet angelic Magdalena.
    It's lovely to hear you and your husbands updates, have a nice trip and shed those tears, it's natural and healing.

  2. Oh Julie, I am so glad you guys were able to get away.

    So weird that the normal reaction from someone that has not gone through a loss is to ignore it...when all that feels right for you now is to speak her name. Magdalena will always be on my lips, in another far off zip code from you two. Can you imagine how long that would take for someone that lived a lifetime to do that, had strangers speak their name in such honor and rememberance. What a wonderful job you and Noah did as her mom and dad.

    with love,
    Max's mommy

  3. Enjoy your time together in Washington. It will be a trip you will always remember! God be with you as you grieve for sweet Magdalena.

  4. Thanks for sharing the pics! I've been waiting to see some. The Washington Monument looks BREATHTAKING and so do so many of the other pics.
    You know, there are so many things I hear said that seem so trite that I just don't share or repeat them to you. But a mutual church member who lost a baby right before birth some time ago quoted Corrie Ten Boom to me the other day. "There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper." She spoke of how good God is when you get down in that pit and realize He is right there with you. And I took it to heart because she has known the loss of a child. My prayer for y'all has just become that in this pit of grieving, you will know God's goodness and be wrapped up and protected by His love. Something in me, when you talk about Magdalena, feels that you know that. I love to hear you talk about her. The tears don't bother me because it makes me remember her more strongly and vividly AND remember that she is with our Saviour.
    I love y'all and cannot WAIT to see y'all!

  5. WHOO! Mini-blog on my comment. SORRY!

  6. Ok, one more comment -- sorry! I meant to tell you that a bunch of us went to a meeting to hear about this place in Canton that takes in women who have no place else to go who have decided not to have abortions. It's called the Christmas Village because they deliver bundles of joy all year 'round and it keeps Christ in their name. I'm going to throw the link in here so anyone reading your blog who may want to find out more can:

  7. Julie, I am not Sammy, I am
    Shirley. I read your most recent blog and I am just speechless. I just want you and Noah to know that you are constantly in my prayers.

  8. I'm glad you guys were able to get away and just be. No pressures, no schedules. Enjoy and let God refresh you both.

  9. Dearest Julie and Noah, just a note to let you know how much you and your precious Magdalena have touched my heart and my life. I found your blog after her passing. Your writings honor her sweet life in so many ways. By celebrating her life and grieving her loss publicly, you give voice to multitudes of other hurting people. Blessings to you both...

  10. So glad that you were able to get away and enjoy yourselves while you learn your new "normal". There is no doubt in my mind that if the politicans had stories like sweet Magdalena's in front of them that they would see a need for protection of tiny lives.

    It was good that you were able to have that first time of explaining how many children you have question. Like you I always wanted to talk about Mackenzie but not everyone was able to hear. I still wnt to make sure she is not forgotten. Not a day goes by that she isn't on our minds.

    I pray for your future babies and the memories of their big sister that you will be able to share with them.

  11. Our baby was stillborn at 37 weeks due to trisomy 18. Her name is Grace Ola. We found out at 10 weeks there was something wrong and we got her diagnosis at 16 weeks. I here what you are saying. It is amazing how the Lord connects us to support each other, over the internet!

  12. Dear Julie and Noah,

    You two look really good in D.C.! We could certainly use a wonderful couple such as yourselves who know the TRUTH of how life is such a gift from God.

    I was so sad to hear that our new president has quietly signed the bill that now our tax dollars can be used domestically and abroad to pay for abortions. I pray for mercy for our nation.

    Magadalena is such an amazing gift from God!!! She has blessed so very, very many people in her precious short life. She is missed, she is mourned and we are so very grateful to have known her. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.

    I believe I speak for all of us when I say anything you remember and want to tell us we want to hear. We love seeing her pictures and seeing her in your videos. Yes it breaks our heart but we cry happy tears because it also makes us so happy and grateful that she was here.

    I pray that the Lord will continue to bless you and hold you close as you two enjoy your time away together. Hold tight!


  13. I am so glad that you were able to get away and spend some time seeing the sights. May God continue to bless you.

    Love, Barbara

  14. Anonymous9:33 PM

    When people ask the question, "Do you have any kids?", you can say, "Of course, we have a daughter smiling down on us from heaven."


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