A few days after Magdalena's passing Noah and I decided to take a trip together. After contemplating many places, we decided on Washington, D.C. We wanted to be able to go somewhere that we could do fun things together but relax without having a schedule. Thanks to the help of others we were able to take this trip. Yes, we are here in Washington now while I am blogging. We wanted to go ahead and write because we realized after hearing a few voicemails and reading a few emails that we had not told anyone! Please forgive us for not keeping better in touch.
I forgot my coat as we were leaving for the airport, but thanks to my mom she made it to the airport with it JUST as we were loading the plane! Good job, Mom! You can tell by the pictures what the consequence would have been! We are having so much fun! We sleep until we wake up, and then, we walk to a museum that we chose the night before. We leisurely eat, walk, and visit a few sights. This trip has been emotional in more ways that just the learning to grieve part of it. Before taking a tour of the Capitol building, we watched a video about the importance of the place, and it took all I had not to cry. Many of the important acts that have been signed received signatures there, and people found ways to improve the lives of so many of the citizens. This is emotional to me because they found ways to help almost everyone but the unborn who don't have voices. How can you have so many protection laws, and then, think that it is ok to kill? It saddens me, and the entire time I could only think about Magdalena and babies like her. They are so special, and their life does matter!
Also, after eating dinner tonight we spotted a table with an obviously newborn baby. I couldn't help but stare. She was about as big as Magdalena got after five months of living! And she had that sweet face. I really wanted to snuggle with her, but I didn't want the family to think that I would kidnap their child. So I was just the weird stranger staring at the table. As we were leaving we stopped and spoke a little to the father who was holding the baby attempthing to calm her. At that time I almost asked to hold her so that he could eat, but before I could he said something about her being hungry, and I knew, for obvious reasons, that I would be unable to help. The new father asked if we had any children. I almost couldn't hold in the tears because it was the first time we had been asked this since Magdalena left us. Noah had to speak for both of us at that point and lightly explained the situation. Encouragingly the man tried to speak of future children for us, but I could hardly listen trying to keep things inside until we got back to the hotel. We realized that we didn't have a business card to give him, so Noah gave him one of his pictures of her and wrote the blog on the back.
Noah and I have strong days and days where we can hardly stand it we miss her. There will never be a day that passes where we won't miss her, but I am glad that we can talk about her and share her. I love talking about her. I may tear up a bit, but please just know that I would rather talk about her than ignore all that has happened. She remains still our little miracle.