Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Answered Prayers

Thank you so much for all of the encouraging words that you have sent to me and prayers that you have said on behalf of my family. So many have been answered. I made it through the visitation and celebration of life. What I mean is that I was able to fully participate in both and truly celebrate having had her with us. God gave Rev. Ken the exact words to be said to glorify him through Magdalena's life. I feared that I would be so overwhelmed with grief that keeping the chapel from flooding from my tears would be an accomplishment. God gave me peace. It was the perfect peace to watch the video and smile thinking of all of the memories and to truly listen to Ken's words. Thank you, Ken, for praying for the words that you would say. Each one was sent by God. It was obvious.

I do want to share that with such a sad time for Noah and me all of the ways that God has truly blessed us, but for now please know that your prayers have been answered. God gave us so much time with our sweet daughter. I never expected to have it, and only God could give it.

Thank you for all of the pictures that you sent to me honoring Magdalena's life by wearing pink. You sent pictures from all over the world and you shared your lives with me. Thank you. Every word was read and adored because of all of the time that was given to take your picture, email, and write a letter truly sharing your hearts. In such a fast paced world I was amazed at how Magdalena's life caused so many people to reflect on so many different things. Thank you for loving Magdalena. Thank you for allowing her into your heart so that God could change you through her life. Thank you.

Please pray that the silence within our walls will not be too much for Noah and me to bear. Pray that we have the ability to sit in the stillness and silence and not let grief overwhelm us. Tears are good, normal, and healthy, but pray that we do not wallow in our grief but grieve in a way that draws us closer to God.

Also, I would like to create a video to share on the blog of all of you who sent me pictures in your pink. I won't give names only locations. If this invades your privacy in any way, please, send me an email so that I can keep your picture to myself in Magdalena's scrapbook. I appreciate so much all of the pictures that were sent to me that I would not want to abuse the confidence. Also, if you haven't sent your pics yet it isn't too late! I enjoy hearing from all of you!

20 comments:

  1. Julie and Noah,

    You guys and your sweet girl Magdalena will always be a part of my life now. I will continue to pray.

    The pain and tears that will come now are healing, even though in the midst feel so awful. Just know to live in the moment, which I know you understand very well. Going through each downward spiral and joyful up rise is part of this. As a blog Dad said of the loss of his son, you learn to where it like a badge of honor!

    Right now for me, I will say the pain is great...but the time between joy and pain is shortening!

    Praying for you two,
    Trish
    Maxson's mommy

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  2. Magdelena touched my heart. I was so upset when I heard the news. It was, as if I had lost my own daughter. I loved the video. She had such a sweet presence. May God bless you during this time and give you a peace and comfort that passes all understanding.
    Praying for you.
    Beth

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  3. Julie and Noah,

    I don't know if I have ever commented on your blog before or not. I started following your blog in late November, after my husband and I miscarried our first child. I had found your blog through a long chain of other blogs, and automatically fell in love with your daughter. I went back as far as May and read from there on. I was a loyal reader, and the pictures you posted of Magdalena always brought a smile to my face and the stories of her lifted my heart. When I logged in one morning and read that Magdalena had went to be with the Lord, I was devastated. I cried at my computer for several minutes. It's funny how through something as anonymous as blogger, you can feel so connected with someone else.

    I just watched Magdalena's celebration video and sobbed throughout the entire thing. Your daughter was absolutely beautiful and a true gift from God. I know it's hard to see it now, but she has touched and influenced so many lives, from the nurses at the hospital to your blog readers. Her life WILL leave a forever footprint on the world.

    I am a student at Kentucky Christian University in Grayson, KY. I have the entire campus (or at least those who are on the facebook prayer group) praying for your family. Our home church is also praying. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I know how badly a miscarriage hurt, I cannot even begin to fathom the pain of losing a child you held in your arms for 167 days. I mourn and grieve with you from the absolute bottom of my heart.

    I don't have a pink picture to show, although I did wear pink on both Thursday and Friday in honor of your sweet daughter.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers (and tears!) God bless you.

    Shaina Naillieux

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  4. Julie, y'all keep pressing on. I am awed by your hearts. I am still praying for you both! Lots of love and hugs!

    Kimberly

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  5. I know God will not be far from you in the silent days ahead, but will be praying that you will always feel His nearness.

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  6. It still astounds me how much your baby girl has touched my life...Every time I see a new post on your blog the tears fall.. I never met her and yet my heart misses her...I miss hearing about all the things she did today.. and all the ways in which she blessed you..

    She was a part of my daily life.. and I miss her!

    I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be for both of you. YOu are continually in my prayers and thoughts.

    Kerren
    Johannesburg, South Africa

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  7. You have become family to me in the short time that I have known you here; waiting for Magdalena to be born and watching her bless your lives and mine. I miss her and I continue to pray for your broken hearts. I can only imagine how loud the silence is in your home now. Praying God fills this silence with His hope and grace. You have my heart.

    Love and Hugs, Laurie

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  8. Linda7:47 AM

    My thoughts and prayers will always be with you and Noah.

    Magdalena's blog was the first blog I read everyday and the day I read that she went to be with God was an overwhelmingly sad day for me.

    I will continue to read this blog daily to see how you are doing.

    Many blessings and may GOD surround you with his love always.

    Linda from Texas!

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  9. There will never be a day when you are not lifted in prayer in this house. I love y'all so much! That celebration of life was the sweetest one I have ever attended. It glorified God and bore with it the sweet and happy tones that God gifted to Magdalena while still allowing us all to have tears for the loss that we know in this world. Ken truly did have God-given words. God has changed this world through your baby girl.

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  10. We pray for you daily and care so very much for you and Noah and will always remember sweet Magdalena. Stefani told me the celebration was beautiful. I am glad she was able to make it up for it.
    Love you!

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  11. The Lord bless you. I attended the service and was profoundly moved by the whole experience. i made a post in her honor, and although it is in Portuguese I thought you might want to see it. My prayers are with you.
    Here is the link
    http://jamasaindanao.blogspot.com/2009/01/morte-e-fragilidade.html
    In Christ
    Emilio

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  12. Dearest Julie,

    How very sweet and kind of you to comfort us with this post. Knowing that our prayers are making a difference to you and Noah means more than you can know.

    I wore pink and will always, always think of sweet Magdalena every time I wear it. Unfortunately it was so very cold and snowy in Michigan that it was covered with woolen coats, scarves and mittens. Unfortunately I don't have a pink coat... so no pictures but please know I was "in the pink" and thinking of your amazing little girl.

    The service sounds awe-inspriring, hopefully, someday we can learn
    more about the words your pastor shared. For now praying God continues to heal your tender, broken hearts and that you feel His love, comfort and peace each minute of every day.

    Love,
    Kathy

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  13. Anonymous2:29 PM

    Thank you for sharing Magdalena with all of us. Your family is such a blessing to me. Julie, I met you when my daughter (Erin Jones Schmidt) graduated from Southern. I have read your blog daily from the beginning. Your family has truly taught me so many lessons of faith. My faith has increased many times over through your family. Magdalena will always be in my heart.
    I will continue to pray for you, Noah, and all your family. Marcia Jones

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  14. Thanking God for all of your answered prayers during this time and I am continuing to keep both you and Noah in my thoughts and prayers. I would be honored to have my "picture in pink" included. :-) Magdalena touched my heart and she will never, ever be forgotten.

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  15. Checking on God's sweet little creation, Magdalena, has been part of my daily routine for quite some time now. I pray for you as you grieve her absence from your arms and your home, but never from your thoughts and hearts.

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  16. Aletha Snowberger7:02 PM

    Although we didn't get a pic...there were 15 faculty members in pink at DFA in honor of your precious angel. Noah, as an alum I know that you know how close the DFA family is....trust us when we say that we still remember you and care for you. Pink is now our signature color. Our student council is even walking in the March of Dimes walk, hopefully, and we will do it in the name of your daughter....even if it is during Master's Week.....her memory will live on....

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  17. Julie and Noah,

    Just finished watching the video of your precious little princess angel. What an inspiration, You have memories to hold in the hands of your heaqrt for eternity. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Barbara and John Wolfe

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  18. Thinking of you often. Praying for the peace and the ability to sit in silence. Be gentle with yourself...it will take some time. I think of you often...wish I could give you a hug.

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  19. Anonymous9:28 AM

    Julie and Noah,
    I have never left a comment on your blog before. I even hesitated to do so now as I am not one to "publicly comment" much. I had to step out of that box and tell you how much I have enjoyed reading about the life of your sweet Magdalena. The way both of you have written about her in each post radiates that love that you each had for her. As a parent myself, I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. While it always seems that parents who lose children are able to write that they see God's hand in it (and I believe that HIS hand IS in everything), I honestly cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be to even type those words. I'm not sure I would be as strong. You and your beautiful daughter have touched my heart in ways you will never know. I want you to know that I have enjoyed so much getting to "know" Magdalena. It may not be appropriate to say, but she has made me hug my children a little tighter and fuss a little less. I have seen how little things and small battles are nothing really, in the big picture of life on earth. You all are wonderful parents. Magdalena is such a beauty! Thank you for sharing your daughter with a complete stranger - she has really touched me!
    I will pray for strength and grace for you both to make it through without her physical presence.
    ~Prayers & Love~
    Julie in Tennessee

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  20. Anonymous3:21 PM

    I don't know if this comment will be helpful or not, but I have been planning to write it for some time. In fact, I meant to write it before Magdalena left this world, but she took me by such surprise I never got to do it.

    I want to tell you what your writing and Magdalena's life have meant to me. I lost a baby girl to Trisomy 18 five years ago this month. Rebecca Alyce (named after my mother and my husband's mother) died in utero at 23 weeks. We found out at 20 weeks that she likely had Trisomy 18, it was confirmed at 22 weeks, and her heart beat was gone by 23 1/2 weeks.

    I cried and cried when she died - I wanted more time, any amount of more time. But at the same time, the doctors had made me terrified of more time. They had made me scared to death of her being born alive. They had created an image of her being some scary, unhuman-like creature - "inompatible with life". I honestly didn't know what to pray for. This was before the days of blogs and the kind of resources that are out there now. I didn't know of one single person - in real life or via the internet who had ever had a Trisommy 18 baby. I was afraid she would be this deformed, terribly sick, suffering, baby that we would have to make agonizing decisions abobut. If only I had known.

    Fortunately and unfortunately, at the time that Rebecca died, I was pregnant with twins. The loss of Rebecca started my labor at 24 weeks. I was able to hold the babies in until 26 weeks, when both girls were born. By then, Rebecca had been dead for three weeks. So when she was born, she did not look like she would have looked had she been born when she died at 23 weeks. So I never got to really SEE her. I never got to know what she looked like - what my Trisomy 18 baby looked like, what a Trisomy 18 baby looked like. Although she was beautiful to me as her mother, after 3 weeks, she did not look like a normal baby, and they were unable to clean her, as her skin was too fragile. So I mourned a baby without a real face, and in some ways, without some of her identity.

    This past year, I have been reading blogs of mothers who have lost Trisomy 18 babies. Some of them have had their babies for a few moments, for a few hours, for a few days, for a few months. But all of their babies are beautiful. And all of their babies look like completely normal babies. And many of them have taken them home and done all kinds of normal baby things with them. I know they have had to work so very hard, and home life with them has been exhausting, but they have had days and weeks and months and their babies have been oh, so normal. Not at all the terrible awful creatures the doctors had described to me.

    And then your beautiful Magdalena came along - arguably the most beautiful of them all. And you did such normal things with her. And you had so much time with her, relatively speaking. And I cherished every day you had with her, living somewhat vicariously through you all with her, as I had wished I could do with my baby girl. And there she was - beautiful, normal, and oh, so compatible with life, right up to the end. You see, in some ways, her life, gave me glimpes of what my Rebecca might have been like. She gives me insights into what kind of life we might have had - for an hour or a day or a week or a month. And even though we didn't have it - having an idea of what it might have been like is so much more than I had. And having an idea of what she COULD have looked like, is so much more than I had. And I choose to believe that. For all of that, I thank you so much.

    And I choose to believe that Rebecca was waiting for Magdalena, along with all the other babies, to play with her and be her friend in heaven.

    Shellie

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