Sunday, January 25, 2009

Unseen Home Videos - Take 1

My oldest sister, Lori, also known as Loli on this blog because that is what Magdalena called her, thought about alot of ways for us to capture Magdalena's life even before she was born. For months before and after her birth she let us keep her video camera so that we could capture every new thing that Magdalena experienced. Once the holidays began we knew that Lori would need it to capture memories from her own family. This is when Noah and I considered getting a video camera, and with much investigation we chose a camera. However, when shopping we learned of other features we liked and disliked. And on Thanksgiving Day we purchased our video camera. We learned how to record, but we had not downloaded the videos onto our computer until making Magdalena's video. (The camera records on to its hard drive.) I knew that was one of my favorite videos of hers. Now that I have them I wanted to share some sweet moments with you. It definitely brought tears to my eyes, but mostly I smiled just thinking about how much fun it was to have her in our lives. Maybe one day I will share some of the beginning moments that are currently on small tapes, but for now I will gradually share a little at a time of how wonderful it was to be the parents of such a special girl.

Grieving is different for everyone, and I am thankful that I had the months to prepare for this loss instead of it happening quickly. Last spring I used to spend a lot of time holding my belly and crying. There were so many unknowns that I feared. I grieved last spring about not watching Magdalena grow older as I thought she would and hit so many of the milestones that parents look forward to, so now I don't think of Magdalena when I see an older child. I will always think of her as my sweet baby. I just miss her sweet smile, her big blue eyes, and tiny hands. She required 100% attention, so now it is hard because I am not quite sure what to do with all of my energy. It belonged to her. I am not mad at God, but so glad that I got to have her. She is my child, my first born. I am just struggling because I am a mother with empty arms.
This video was recorded when we discovered that Magdalena responded to her tickle spots. We were SO excited.

33 comments:

  1. This is such a preciouse video and such a great keepsake. Videos are so great to remember EVERYTHING! Praying for peace for you and your family.

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  2. She's so sweet! It's funny you should post about your free time now and not knowing what to do because I was thinking about you today and hoping you'd find something to do during the day to keep yourself occupied, as your daughter kept you hoppin' for so long. I suppose it's nice to have some time to reflect and gather your thoughts. Thanks again for letting us into your lives:)

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  3. Anonymous10:49 PM

    Julie....

    She is so beautiful!

    -connie

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  4. I found out about your blog through a friend, Aimee Weathers. I have been keeping up with your blog due to the fact that your precious Magdelena was only days older than my precious Allie, who also has T18. They had so many similarities and accomplished the same milestones together. When I called Aimee to tell her that my little Allie had given up her fight, she informed me that Magdelena had also spread her wings just a few days prior. Hearing the news caused my heart to break into a million pieces all over again. I just want to let you know that I am thinking of your family and thank you for sharing your story.
    Susan Brewer (Allie's mommy)

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  5. OH boy, I soooo enjoyed that video. She is such a perfect angel. thank you so much for sharing her. Every extra second of her you share brings so much joy to my heart. My smile is as wide as the Pacific Ocean as I write this comment! 'Thank You' just doesnt say it all.

    Magdalena is my heart-throb. and she is perfect. I can't wait to meet her one day, when its my turn.

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  6. I just found and started reading your blog the week before she passed away. I admire your faith, although I know how tough it is. I'm so glad that you are getting through as well as anyone can, and you are honoring her life so well.

    I also have a technical question...I recently used some software to do the exact same thing and that was download a video of our daughter, Tori, who passed away and it didn't work real well. What did you use to transfer yours? Thanks.

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  7. I will definitely be watching this one more than once! Sweet baby girl...

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  8. I couldn't help but smile back at Magdelena while watching this video. Thank you for sharing it.

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  9. Julie and Noah,
    You truely are amazing people and I really admire your strength and trust in the Lord through this process of healing. My heart hurts for you. I can't imagine being in your shoes, but I know it is your belief and trust in the Lord that is getting you through.

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  10. Precious! I'm so glad you have lots of ways to remember Magdalena.

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  11. Julie, Thank you for letting us share in her life and now through her stories from you and her videos. Her smile is so beautiful as so are those big round eyes. Praying for your arms that are aching but yet your heart knows she is whole now.

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  12. Thank you so much for sharing this video with us. I am so glad you took as many pics and videos of her as you did. She is beautiful!

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  13. Anonymous10:22 AM

    So precious! I'm glad you have so many memories to remember her.

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  14. Anonymous11:12 AM

    Julie and NOah,

    How precious to get a peek @ Magdalena so happy and playful!!!

    I laugh/cried!
    Ken

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  15. Oh Julie, thank you so much for sharing! I loved it! She was so beautiful. I'm praying for you.

    Love ya!

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  16. keep em coming!
    I love hearing you talk to her...it's so sweet!

    It seems as if you are doing well Julie. Do you feel in some way so thankful that God has given you the preparation tools to deal?

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  17. So precious!!! Praying for your hearts.

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  18. Thank you so much for sharing this precious video of your little princess. Praying for you, Julie.

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  19. thanks for sharing such a precious thing with us!
    I have tears running down my face!
    she is just adorable!
    I am so glad you have something so special to be able to watch and rejoice in her!
    rejoicing with you in God's creation of her but also grieving with you over the loss of her!
    know that you are loved and being prayed for by so many!
    -the Senters (Augusta GA)

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  20. Anonymous2:23 PM

    What a precious girl. Thank you for sharing that with us. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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  21. I love it!! The twinkly eyes and tongue popping out--what a happy baby and what precious times.
    Love,
    Noele

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  22. Jonathan (my 4 year old) says, "I like that one!" We enjoy seeing her smile.....she knew how loved she is!

    Love,
    Karen & Jonathan

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  23. That precious video made me smile-- you know, the big kind, where you just cant help but smile?

    What a great way to remember your baby girl.

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  24. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful video of beautiful Magdalena. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  25. Erin Jones Schmidt7:26 PM

    Thanks for sharing this! I love that look she gave you when you said you were going to get her chin...she looked like she might fight you for it!

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  26. what a wonderful video! She was very full of spunk! I love her sweet smile with her tongue out ~ precious!

    thank you for sharing - please know I am continually lifting you up in prayer...

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  27. Thank you for sharing the life of your beautiful Magdalena. Her smile and expressions in the videos are charming and so full of life. Even through a computer montior, I could feel the love surrounding her.

    I'm so glad that her passing was peaceful and that you both had that miraculous time with her when her soul slipped from this earth to heaven.

    I will pray that you are comforted as you continue on with life without your baby in your arms and that the love you have for Magdalena and your faith in God will sustain you through this time.

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  28. She is the most perfect little angel. She was very blessed to have such wonderful parents that are willing to share her. When I read through you blog...I was so amazed at you, at her and your tremendous faith....Bless You and thank you for sharing Magdalena. You must be so proud of her and proud of the lives she touches and the work she is doing by renewing faith in others.

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  29. She is so beautiful! She lives on in the hearts of us and has touched so many. I am praying for you guys.

    Wendy

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  30. I came over because a friend told me she was having a rough day and God brought her here......and Your life touched hers.

    Thank you for sharing this with us...I can't imagine the path you have walked. But I thank God for how He is using it as He holds you tight.

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  31. What a beautiful, precious baby. We have made a contribution in her honor to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. What an example you are! I continue to pray for your healing. May God wrap His arms around you as you remember your precious angel through videos like this.

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  32. Oh, Julie...what a precious little treasure! You and Noah are so blessed that you had Magdalena to hold and love....and tickle!! We continue to pray for you as you adjust to life without her.

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  33. just thinking about ya'll today...

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