The Rabbit Hole was recently released, and since that week I have considered reviewing it. This was something that I had to do alone. Before Noah left we went to the grocery store together, which was the first time in a VERY long time that we have been able to go together. One of our favorite things to do as newlyweds was to go grocery shopping together. While there shopping Noah was renting a movie on red box for me, and it was at that moment we decided that I would watch it tonight. I was pleasantly surprised with the fact that it wasn't focused in on the death of the child. I don't think my heart could have handled that tonight. The theme of the movie was that everyone deals with grief differently, and in The Rabbit Hole you see a few versions of what could happen. I didn't think that the movie was entertaining in a sense that it is a "must see" movie, but it was so well done that I would recommend it to everyone. Even if you are the closest friend of someone who has lost a child, you don't know all that happens in the heart and mind. What I loved most was that they showed a couple who in the end decided to fight to remain together in the midst of the unbearable pain. Instead of succumbing to their emotions, they realize that the person that they love most on this earth is in pain too, and they work to help each other deal with their grief, even if it is different from their own.
As the following scene was happening I knew that I would share it because it so accurately describes how the intense pain in the heart of a parent changes over time, but it never goes away. Recently there was a birthday full of dresses and tea where a bunch of little girls excitedly awaited the celebration of their friend, and before I knew it my pain was brought to the front of my heart. It isn't something that can be avoided because it is "always in my pocket".
Becca (Nicole Kidman) had a son who died because he ran in the middle of the road while chasing after his dog, and her mother, Becca's brother, died of drug overdose. Their relationship is tense because Becca does not like that her mother compares their pain as being equal when the deaths were so different, but here as she has packed away of the of her son's things she initiates this discussion.
Becca : Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't - has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Nat: I don't know... the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and... carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you... you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and - there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be aweful - not all the time. It's kinda...
Nat: not that you'd like it exactly, but it's what you've got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh... it doesn't go away. Which is...
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.
The movie ends by showing the couple's first step together in the grieving process, but it shows no more. I am not surprised because the hope in the death is Jesus, so it would be even harder for a person who lacks the hope in Christ to grieve. "Do not grieve as others do who have no hope." 1 Thessalonians 4:13 God doesn't say that was should not grieve..meaning don't cry or be unhappy with the situation. He tells us that we are to grieve with the hope, hope of all that God has promised us.
My brick is not only full of sorrow but of sweet reminders of God's promises.