Last weekend I went on a women's retreat, and with the preparations before and after, I have not posted. It was an amazing time of study, reflection, and fellowship. I have struggled for so long getting to know people again. Noah gently pushes me, but I prefer very much to myself and my family. I don't go anywhere without Noah if I don't know the people well. He relieves me of the social pressure.
Since I have moved in between two of the most social people ever, I have been forced to either jump on the boat or stay on the shore. Well, I jumped on the boat and went to the retreat, and it was an amazing experience for me. One of the things that I have struggled with is prayer. It is definitely a heart issue that God was dealing with me on because it is easy to pray when things are fantastic. It is easier to bring something before God when you need something. But praying when you don't like the hand that you have been dealt can be a bit more challenging. I had thought of beginning to write my prayers down, and then, this idea was confirmed when the speaker spoke of journaling. So with my coupon in hand, I went to Barnes and Noble to try to find a journal that would outlive me. Walt and I walked back and forth on the one row of journals, and I am surprised my sweat marks didn't show up on my shirt by that point! I called Noah for some help, and he gave me a list to consider like lines and size so that I can put it in my purse. After hanging up with him, I ran into one of my mom's friends who was there buying a journal as a gift, and after talking she showed me what she uses and began to list the same criteria that Noah had given me (price included on that list!). I might have left empty handed, overwhelmed, and God gave me a friend at the perfect time. My day 1 of journaling my prayers, yesterday, was a great relief, yet, emotional.
Yesterday Layne's parents were again faced with her frail body. She has had at least three episodes in a short period of time, which seem to relate to the heart. This is the hardest part of it all, and it was so hard to know exactly what to pray. But the things that I prayed for and continue to pray for are peace and knowledge. Peace doesn't mean that you are happy with the situation. It is actually very hard to explain, but it is a feeling that only God can give, and you really can fully experience in life's most difficult situations. God is the only one that can give them true comfort, and so my prayer is that they continually to seek him for this comfort.
So whether you pray through a journal or by your words, please, pray for the Gaston family as they deal with these episodes that baby Layne is having.
Julie, I am so glad you are getting out there, even though its hard. You know I need help with that, too. :) Journaling prayers is so helpful for me, I hope it is for you, too. God has used prayer to change me and help me to see God's goodness even in the things that don't seem good. I will contninue praying for your friends.
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