I love my family! We have made it through some of the toughest days together, and they have a huge amount of patience with me! Thank you, God, for my two men!
And today I went to Magdalena's grave and spent my first peaceful time there. It was a gorgeous day, not too warm and not too hot. A slight breeze to keep the air fresh and tickle my nose. I cried there, but it was a healing cry. I sat and journaled my prayers to God and spent some time reading the Psalms aloud. I sat right next to her headstone, and after I had read I just sat there and cried. It was a peaceful cry. Maybe you know what I mean? And the sweet butterfly on her headstone reminded me of her healing, and in an instance a beautiful picture came to my mind of Magdalena and Layne wearing pink tu-tus with both of the hands clasped in the other's hands. They were twirling with glee. They are butterflies, beautiful with God. They are healed. After that second of a thought I prayed that a hug would be given to her for me, and that she would be reminded that the mommy that carried her while she was on earth loves her so much. It was so peaceful. She is with Jesus.
My mom made this permanent arrangement for Magdalena's site. She did it about a month ago, but I had not been to see it. It has just been so hard, but the site of these flowers made it easier. She would have loved them. My dad said that the sparkles remind him of balloons, which she enjoyed. Is it possible to say that I enjoyed my time at Magdalena's site? I think that I have wanted to go and just couldn't, and today I am so thankful that I did it. I went and talked with God there. God is still molding me through her life. His work is never complete. I am that really tough clay!