Tuesday, October 05, 2010

A little Set Back

If you have ever suffered in an unimaginable way, you know that not every day is the same. For hours, days, or weeks you are moving back into society. You learn to breathe again and live in a different way. Then, out of nowhere BAM! you get hit hard. It sets you back, and you wonder if you will ever make progress. Well, maybe noone else feels this way, but I definitely do, and it happened this past week. Maybe you noticed that I haven't blogged? I just had to spend some time regaining my strength to begin moving forward again. This may sound cheesy but it just came to me...that although I get hit, I keep moving forward because I have complete coverage (like a car with insurance)...see? I told you it was cheesy. I usually write what I am honestly thinking so there you have it. Because all of my hope lies that I am a child of God and that he wraps his arms around me and cares for me, I know that I will move forward again. Maybe it doesn't always meet my expectations of moving forward but I do. Throughout this semester I have been able to begin participating more in bible studies and be with other wives whose husbands are in seminary, and God has really been feeding me through all of this. This past week I arrived early to a bible study to hear them preparing for us to sing "O LOVE THAT WILL NOT LET ME GO". This song was a favorite of mine in college, and during the last two years God has constantly had me singing this song as a reminder of His love, which is why I named my blog after this song. We also chose to sing this song at Magdalena's funeral, and so, it is even more meaningful to me. As I heard them preparing this song for the worship during our study, I began to prepare my heart for how difficult this was going to be. I didn't know if I could do it, but I would try. This song would be sung in other places in the future, so I couldn't run from it in public worship.

As the worship time began the first song was "ON JORDAN'S STORMY BANKS". I wasn't prepared for this. The other song that we had chosen for Magdalena's funeral. Knowing that I couldn't make it through both songs I left. It wasn't just the songs though. That had been a day full of Magdalena around me. She is always on my mind and heart, but sometimes I am heavy with her, and this was one of those days. Just before bible study, I had sent my mom a text to see if she would create a flower arrangement for me to take to Magdalena's grave the next day. Well, when I left the bible study and stopped by Magdalena's grave on my way home, which was so dreary in the near darkness part of the day, and this made me feel worse instead of better. (Graveyards at dark are scary! I should have used my common sense on that one, but I wanted to go.) I got home. Noah held me. I rested. God has encouraged me through his scripture through the past week. This is where my strength is renewed.

I do want to add that if you are wanting to dig into scripture but you aren't sure where to begin, simply throwing open the book to the first spot that it lands each morning isn't always the best method. I would encourage you to find a book that leads you through it. Holding onto Hope is a study through the book of Job. Hoping for Something Better is a look through Hebrews. Jesus, the One and Only is a good look at the book of Luke, but when I read this book I used my study bible a ton to dig a little deeper. These are just three of many offered. Use wise judgement when choosing a book as help because there are many that claim Christ but are not true to His word, and as always, please, email me if you have any questions. I will always try my best to help.

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1 comment:

  1. Loved, loved, LOVED Jesus the One and Only!!!!!!! Got so much out of it...and right when needed! God's good like that, isn't He?

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