Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

On my first Mother's Day when I was pregnant with Magdalena, Noah bought me a corsage.  Not knowing the color of my dress, he actually bought me two to be sure that he matched.  Not knowing if it was the "in thing" he told me that I didn't have to worry with wearing it, but I did.  And I proudly wear one every Mother's Day because it is one of the sweetest things that he does for me.

For anyone who has lost someone dear to their hearts, no holiday is the same without them.  Mother's Day isn't sad, but bittersweet for me.  I get to celebrate that I have given birth to two wonderful children, and although I have lost one, I still had the honor of being her mother.  For that, I am so thankful.
Grieving has been a process for me, I never quite know when to expect my heart to skip a beat as it breaks.  The more I notice how Walt is growing into his own person, the more I wonder what Magdalena would have been like.  I passed a few girls around the age of five practicing their ballet moves at the gym where I work out, and that was after sitting behind my new blonde haired, blue eyed friend in church who was around the same age.  These little moments always pierce my heart and make me long to be with Magdalena again, but on days like today I get to celebrate that I got to be her mother for the very short amount of time she was here.  And that sweet memory will be with me for a lifetime on this day every year.

He didn't smile in this posed picture, so I am glad for the many in-action shots where he does smile!
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