Sunday, August 02, 2009

Friendship

When difficult times approach, the phrase "you learn who your true friends are" seems to fill the void where there were once many people. I don't believe saying that in all of life's difficult situations that this is actually true. I can't say that I haven't thought it throughout the past year, but I think that I am leaning towards a different idea. As my high school reunion is approaching, I thought of so many people that I considered my friends that I have failed to keep in touch with over the years. It isn't as though I haven't thought about them, but time passes by quickly and things that you meant to do just don't happen. Also, life changes people and you may grow apart. This doesn't mean that you don't love the person who you used to give all of your time, but sometimes it is better to have focused time than be spread like peanut butter on a piece of bread where everyone may get a taste but not enough to truly enjoy it.

Nancy Guthrie quotes Gregory Floyd saying, "I feel like sometimes the reason I feel so strange is that part of my heart is not here anymore. I gave it to (Magdalena) and (she) took it with (her)."

I am forever changed by my sweet, baby girl. I can't go back to being the person I was a year ago and I am still trying to figure out who I am loving her. Meanwhile the world continues to move forward, but I have given up on keeping up. I used to try to attend every event, accept every invitation extended, and answer every phone call. If I talk with one friend or send an email, I feel like I have accomplished something spectacular and maybe one day I can jump into life, enjoying it as much as I did before, but this time with the sweet memory of Magdalena. But until then, God has given some the special personality to tolerate me during this time of my life. Others may move on without me, but I don't think that it means that they are not my true friends. They were just not meant to go through this difficult time with me.

8 comments:

  1. What a beautiful way of putting it.

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  2. Oh Julie- your post really hits home. I agree that some are meant to be with us during all the itmes of our lives and ohters just for different part- no right or wrong to it. I have had a hard time learning this. Each new person in our life perhaps brings us a new lesson or way of looking at the world. Some friends are new some are old some are silver and some are gold but they are all of precious metal!

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  3. What a gracious way to say this and explain it. It seems this is true for many people and it is difficult to get your arms around it. You said it well.

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  4. You are wise beyond your years. Well said. Some of life's best lessons are also the ones that cost us the most.

    Of course you can never be the person you were before Magdalena. She has made you an even more loving, caring, compassionate person than you could ever have been without her in your life. She made you a Mom. What a beautiful gift she has given her baby brother, Walt. Your heart is more than ready to receive him.
    You and Noah are amazing parents.

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  5. A beautiful, wise, mature way to explain a struggle that all of us sense but cannot quite put our finger on. Thank you.

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  6. The Floyd quote explains your position so well. I am so sorry for your every day struggle. I LOVE you forever even if I don't talk to you any more. I know that if I were going through your unimaginable grief I would want space, so far for now I am giving it. Know that EVERY DAY I think of your pain and my heart aches for you. You are so strong !

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  7. awww
    I can't believe Magdalena's birthday is just around the corner.
    I'll be thinking about ya'll!

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  8. I love ya girl!!!

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