Monday, April 12, 2010

Our Weekend

Noah spoke more freely of where we were going to go before we left while I was much more hesitant. I didn't want too many questions asked that would make me lose my courage before I got there. We went to a Respite Retreat in the country in TN held by Nancy and David Guthrie for those who have lost a child. http://www.nancyguthrie.com/retreats/
It was definitely emotionally exhausting for all of us there. The first night and next morning, after chatting to get to know one another a little, everyone shared their stories. Everyone cried for everyone there, and we began to carry each others burdens. There is a special bond between parents who have lost a child because it is a pain like no other and for those who feel the same, there is no need to put a front on.
Noah and I had to deal with many issues: Giving grace to our friends, Learning how to respond to questions without sucking the air out of the room, How to deal with those who don't understand, How to not let the grief run our lives, some other things too, but most importantly we were continually pointed toward God and how this is his will. There is nothing that can be done to change that. We did not leave smiling without a care in the world, but we all laughed, played games and were happy. Together we faced our fears and we talked about how to head in the right direction and focus on the cross as we move forward.
There are so many things that Noah and I are working through together because there is no moving past this difficulty or getting over it. God will use this love for Magdalena and the pain of losing her to shape who we are in Him.
We are so thankful for Nancy and David for reliving a lot of their pain with us and allowing God to use them in such an amazing, unique way. And although I was incredibly nervous about the entire experience, I am so blessed by what God laid upon my heart while I was there.

7 comments:

  1. I also looked into the retreat. I am glad to hear how it was for you. In Dallas, we have an organization called Camp Sol for families and it has helped heal us as a family. I was interested in the retreat to help heal us as a couple. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Debbie, I would definitely recommend it as a way for couples to come together. They have a time for couples to answer questions individually, and then, they come together to discuss them. It is only 12 couples, and David and Nancy make themselves available to talk to people when needed.

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  3. I am so thankful for the way God has provided those who can walk alongside you with an understanding of this kind of pain. As much as I want to relate to my friends who have been through this, I just can't and so I have learned (and am still learning) to sit quietly and let them be who they are. We continue to remember Magdalena and pray for you, Noah and Walt, with Thanksgiving for the way the Lord provides and even through you provides insight and the gospel for others...

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  4. Thinking about and praying for you! xoxoxo

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  5. Thanks for sharing Julie! I will never forget sweet Magdalena!

    Linda

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  6. Debbie,
    So glad to learn you attended one of the Guthrie's retreat. Wouldn't it be great to support other families with Trisomy 18 losses being able to attend these? Maybe we could host one with the Guthrie's specifically for Trisomy 18 families. Would love to hear your feedback.
    Victoria Miller
    vjmiller@trisomy18.org
    http://www.facebook.com/trisomy18

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  7. It has been a long time since I read and I apologize. This retreat sounds wonderful and am so glad you could attend. Wow, Walt is one handsome guy. You sure have beautiful children.

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