Sunday, October 11, 2009

Walt's First Two Weeks

Every baby is different, but what I had been told did not prepare me for how Walt responded to us and this world. He came into this world as a laid back little baby ready to lift his head and eat! He only cries when he is hungry or naked. He does not like either of the two. Noah and I have been blessed with a sweet little baby. I know that this could end at some point, and Walt will become a little more "demanding", but we are really getting to enjoy him so much right now while we are learning how to care for a baby. Magdalena required a special, different kind of care, so having a newborn made me nervous, but Walt has been hanging in there with us.

The other day I just stared at him while I held him. It was hard to take my eyes off such a beautiful creature, and I knew that I had been given much more than I deserve. It is embarrassing to say that towards the end of my pregnancy I had begun to really regret being pregnant. I was miserable, uncomfortable, and full of so many mixed emotions that I thought maybe it would have been good to have just waited and taken more time to grieved over Magdalena. Because I was so ungrateful I know that I do not deserve Walt, but I am thankful that he has been given to me. He is a indescribable gift that has been a visible reminder of God, and just staring at him when he sleeps is my constant reminder. This little creature did not accidentally happen but was created with God's hands. No matter what decisions Noah and I could have made or not made, Walt is here because God has ordained him to be, and through his presence he will be used so that others may praise God's artwork.
Noah and I have had many different adventures since we have been married, each of which has allowed us to love one another more and know each other better, and this is another adventure. This one has caused my heart to increase to a large size that I never knew was possible. The physical pain of the surgery was nothing when I got to see what I received. I love him differently than I have loved anyone else, and I know that the love will only increase as time passes. Just as Magdalena changed who I am in this world so has Walt, both in their different kind of ways. He has lightened my heart against the anger I have felt in the past year, and when looking at his face I feel peaceful and happy. Walt does not heal the pain left behind by the daughter I so dearly loved, but he gives me the hope that I can make it through this stormy time. Even by saying that a little baby has changed may sound a little extreme, but it is true. God has used his creation to only point me to Him. And I do believe that I have so much to learn and so many things that I hold onto, which I shouldn't and need to let go, but God is giving me a lot of grace so that I can become closer to him and truly praise him.

Wren, one of Magdalena's NICU nurses and, now, Walt's nurse, changed her day to work to be in the delivery room with Walt. They are such special people to us!

Dianne, Magdalena's nurse, came to welcome Walt into this world shortly after he is born!

This was one of my most favorite sights after Walt was born, his hands. No clenched hands helped me to breathe easily. (Clenched hands is a possible visible sign of Trisomy 18.) Noah and I cherished so many of these little things. Praise God for open hands!

Walt about to leave the hospital, ride in the car for the first time, and going home.

For the first three nights Noah, Walt, and I slept downstairs, which made it easier for me to physically heal so that I would only go upstairs to shower. Then, on Sunday night Mimi helped Noah and me transition Walt to his bed. She slept in the room with him, which made me feel so much better than him being in the room alone, and when he needed to eat, she would come and get me. He slept wonderfully and woke up only when he was hungry. This was his first night in the big bed.

Walt's great-grandmother, Grandmom, enjoys coming to see Walt, and look at that face he is giving her! That silly little man!

I always feel nervous about bathing slippery little babies. Here is Mimi helping to give Walt's first bath. His umbilical cord had not completely fallen out, so it was more like a half bath. It really should fall out any day now! We can tell that it is getting close!

Please continue to pray for Noah, Walt, and me.


  1. What a handsome little man :) He is truly a gift from God...just like his big sister!

  2. Hey Julie,

    Thanks so much for sharing honestly. Your post has encouraged me so much. I loved seeing the pictures! Lots of love, Kimberly

  3. Shannon9:01 PM

    He is such a cutie! How awesome of Magdalena's nurses to celebrate Walt's birth with you! Praying for your heart- as it grows even bigger for Walt and as you process emotions and memories of sweet Magdalena.

  4. you make me want to be a better mom. i find your honesty so amazing and heartfelt. i praise God for His perfect timing and i thank God for sending me to your blog so i will look at my sweet babies with so much more gratitude than i already did. GOD BLESS you!

  5. he's just a cutie pie :)

  6. Anonymous1:26 PM

    I came across this blog through another one. I have followed your story of your precious daughter. I have never lost a child so have never been in your shoes. I struggled for many years with infertility and finally got pregnant after 5 years of wanting a child so badly. She will be 4 in February, the light of our life. I would do anything to be able to have another but unfortunately the chances of that are very slim, it is such a hard to thing to accept but I thien see the beautiful little girl I have and it helps. How lucky you are to have been blessed with another child. You shouldn't feel undeserving of this beautiful boy that you have. You are a beautiful family and your daughter will always be a part of you and your son will certianly now that. Best wishes to you and your family.

  7. Such a beautiful baby boy! How blessed he is to have a mom and dad that really "get" what an incredible miracle and gift that he is!

    You, Noah and Walt's extended family love and cherish him so and he will grow up with an understanding of God's unconditional love.

    My children are grown and have amazed me their whole lives and I still am not worthy but you sure can bet I am grateful! So very grateful for God's grace and mercy.

    Enjoy each and every moment and thank you so much for sharing with us. Prayers continue for your precious family!!! Looking forward to many pictures of your adorable boy!

  8. I am so blessed to know you thru this blog...I know that you and I have never spoken or emailed each other but I feel a connection to you by reading your precious words and in your sharing Magdalena and Walt with us.

    You are a true blessing to me!

    Praying for all of you....Lots of Love..Linda from Texas

  9. what a little joy! so happy for you! loving his smile!

  10. Oh this post brought tears to my eyes .. The part about open hands. Praise God for open hands .. I remember staring so hard at my daughter's ultrasounds looking for that precious sight myself, after her having two big sisters go on to heaven due to trisomies. It truly is a sight for sore eyes, and I completely understand you on that.

    Walt is gorgeous .. What a little blessing! God Bless you all!


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