O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

As fall approaches and the temperature cools off I feel as though some of the weight is being lifted from my heart. August has been difficult, much more so than I could ever imagine. And although I love to celebrate my sweet Magdalena, it also brings much of my heartbreak to the surface. I was driving to work the other day and just realized that I felt "better". I put the word in quotations because "better" doesn't mean that I have miraculously "gotten over it", but I can feel like I can move forward again. I am sure setbacks like the one August brought will come around all the soon approaching holidays, but for now I am trying to move (just move...please do not associate with move on). I don't know if you heard bitterness and anger in my tone of writing, but those were the feelings that I have felt. Maybe that is why I didn't write too often. Not that I don't think those feelings are normal, but I don't want to necessarily remember the...

This is where my family had the book printed. www.blog2print.com

As you have seen August is a busy month for my family. On August 11 we celebrate my grandparents and parents anniversaries along with my birthday. Once I had Magdalena, my birthday just doesn’t feel the same, and I think that this is a great thing. Last year we were in the hospital and with all that was going on I asked everyone to just ignore the day. Poor Noah…He bought a cake and had presents, but I just broke down. We gave the cake to the nurses and waited until October before having our family celebration. My sweet Magdalena got to come to it last year, and that means the world to me. I like that my family is thoughtful enough to acknowledge it, but I don’t like to focus all of the attention on me when August just reminds me of Magdalena. It feels like her special month (I wish I had enough pink clothes to where the color everyday!). But as tradition must continue we had our family dinner this past weekend. It is great because all of the kids like to help open up presents and blow...

Baby Walt is such a blessing to us, but the bigger I get the more I complain. I am just ready to have him in my arms to snuggle with him. I went to the doctor this past Tuesday, and we got a good heartbeat from him. He is growing big! My C-Section is set for Monday, September 28th, so we have six weeks left from this upcoming Monday. (I think that it feels farther away than it actually is.) He could come sooner and I am ready for this, but he seems a little stubborn and too comfortable inside to do this. Getting back to work I think is the toughest because there are so many things to do, but my body just doesn't want to do them! The worst is when I reach for something before realizing that my belly is in the way! I just have to laugh! This weekend came at the perfect timing to give me a little bit of rest. This morning was fabulous because Noah and I slept in before getting up and just sipping on coffee while eating some pumpkin bread. It has been such a relaxing day tha...

Three years ago tomorrow I married the most amazing man! Although I was determined to remain friends, he was determined to date me, and a year after meeting we were married. I could not have made it through the past year without his patience, kindness, and funny personality. He is and forevermore will be my best friend. This is us at the beach when we had just returned from Mexico. We joined the Roberts family in Florida for a fun vacation! Here is Noah and I as we celebrate his 34th birthday with friends in Mexico. Look how handsome he is! For some reason, I could not turn this picture, but I love us all snuggly, so I just had to add it! Forever and ever and ever....I am so bessed to keep him!

One year ago, we met the most amazing person, our sweet Magdalena, who forever changed us. There are many things that remind us of our "big girl", Mimi's "sweet pea", Loli's "lil bit", and we brought these things out on this very special day. Our first born, our daughter, our special little girl....Magdalena... We tried to spend the day remembering as special as she was, but by the end of the day grief did take us over. She loved her balloons! Mimi and Papa brought one very much like the first one she ever received, which was at her 100-day birthday party. Gigi brought some that reminded us of her princess, pretty in pink qualities that we loved so much (with a blue butterfly). We took her a huge #1 balloon with pink and purple matching ones. Look at all of those balloons! Noah and I took the special NICU nurses a pink cake. That night our family got together for cake and ice cream to honor such a special day. This was only planned the week be...

I was pulling out some things for my sister to laminate for me so that I could put them in my scrapbook. One was what we handed out at Magdalena's funeral and inside of it included a poem that Magdalena's Papa (my dad) wrote for her. Growing up, he used to write poems and hide them in our lunches or somewhere like that to remind us he loved us while we were at school. Even in college he would mail us cute little poems. While Magdalena was with us, I asked him if he would prepare something special to put in the service. I know that this was so hard for him to do, especially when she was doing so well with us. Dad, this means the world to me...Thank you for writing this for your granddaughter. SHE WAS SENT HERE FROM HEAVEN WITH A MISSION INDEED SHE WAS CHOSEN ABOVE OTHER SOULS COULD EASILY LEAD OTHER SOULS WHO WERE BRIGHT BOTH HAPPY AND SMART HE HAD SENT THOSE BEFORE BUT THEY CHANGED SO FEW HEARTS SHE WAS SENT IN A PACKAGE SO FRAGILE TO TOUCH BOUND WITH WHAT...

When difficult times approach, the phrase "you learn who your true friends are" seems to fill the void where there were once many people. I don't believe saying that in all of life's difficult situations that this is actually true. I can't say that I haven't thought it throughout the past year, but I think that I am leaning towards a different idea. As my high school reunion is approaching, I thought of so many people that I considered my friends that I have failed to keep in touch with over the years. It isn't as though I haven't thought about them, but time passes by quickly and things that you meant to do just don't happen. Also, life changes people and you may grow apart. This doesn't mean that you don't love the person who you used to give all of your time, but sometimes it is better to have focused time than be spread like peanut butter on a piece of bread where everyone may get a taste but not enough to truly enjoy it. Nancy...