Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Pink, Blue, and Sweet Words

I walked into Magdalena's room yesterday afternoon, just looking at all of the pink, and I realized how I am going to miss all of the girly things. Because we may not be ready to put those things away for a while, our little boy's closet may be filled with both pink and blue. Noah and I are very excited about our first boy, and we both agree that having a boy will be much easier emotionally to have this year instead of the girl. It will be a completely new experience so that every time I see a dress, I am not thinking of my first sweet girl. It will be easier to love both in a special way without as many tears and "what ifs". My arms long for Magdalena that no other child will be able to replace, but as soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that this was going to be special pregnancy. One that will be filled with so many unknowns and fears, but also one of so much joy and hope after such a sad time in our lives. We are praying that God will allow us to keep this one with us for a long while.
At my grandfather's funeral, I talked with Caroline, my oldest niece, about Magdalena being a big sister. She looked at my tummy and then back at my face, trying to figure it out because I did not look pregnant yet. She has watched me and the baby grow and it is amazing all of the things she remembers. Yesterday when her mommy told her that I was having a boy, she was ecstatic! She said that she had wanted it to be a boy! And when I saw her at her softball game, the excitement over a boy continued. Later that night, she mentioned to Lori about how she was going to be a big sister to a baby brother and Lori almost thought she was going to have to correct her and explain things. But she remembered that, at the same time when I told Caroline that I was pregnant, I told her that she would be a big sister to the baby because Magdalena would have wanted Caroline to help watch the baby and one day tell the baby all about her, because being the oldest she would remember the most. I wasn't there when Caroline said this, but this morning I kept thinking about that amazing, special moment.

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful post ~ I don't think your new little son will mind sharing space with Magdalena at all. Kids and their thoughts are so wonderful! I keep the card with little Magdalena's feet on my fireplace and they will stay there forever as a true reminder of how God works. My Grandkids always ask about her little feet and I finally had a chance to tell them all about her. The 10 YO thought it was so sad that she is no longer with you and he said a prayer for you. I showed them your blog and her pictures and explained how God took care of you both while going through such a hard time and how God took care of little Magdalena too. They thought she is so cute. My little Grand Daughter loved the little videos. My point of this very long post (sorry)....Magdalena is still teaching others about love and faith. Her importance and gift to us is never ending.

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  2. So excited about this baby boy! And I am sure he won't mind sharing his closet with his sweet big sister.

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  3. I'm so happy that God has blessed you with another little one to love. I think it will be a little easier emotionally to have a boy. Everything about it will be fresh and new. Magdalena can keep her only princess status a little longer :) We had a girl the year after we lost our first child to trisomy 18 ( a son). Although there were so many things about her as a newborn that reminded me of him she was her own person and it was harder to make her a subsitute baby. A couple years later we had our second son..our first living son. That was amazing, by then I was very ready to experience raising a boy. I think he had the love and snuggles of two little boys put together though! Good thing he is my most snuggly and affectionate kid.
    I have now been blessed with three sons. One in heaven and two I get to love on here. God is good!
    Someday when you have another little princess you will be able to smile with the memories of magdalena and all the girly clothes. And next time you will be able to experience the joys of getting a comb through a busy little girls hair!
    Congrats on your little man. The relationship between a mom and her boy is a very special one.

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  4. Julie, I am excited to hear that you are having a boy! It is amazing what kids remember, and I love Caroline's sweet words. Thank you for sharing.

    Love y'all,

    Kimberly

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  5. Caroline sounds like a very grown up little girl! I'm sure your son will enjoy hearing stories and seeing pics of his big sister Magdalena!

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  6. Congrats on Magdelenas new brother! Praying for a healthy and uneventful pregnancy!

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  7. Congratulations. This is wonderful news. Boys are sweet, too. :)

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  8. Hi!! i'm glad to know that you are having a baby boy!! i pray for the chance to see him one day, i love you so much!

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  9. I am so thrilled for you! Truly thrilled. This little boy will have such a rich, wonderful life with you as parents and knowing that he has a beautiful big sister waiting for him in Heaven. God is good!

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  10. thinking about ya'll

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