Sunday, July 06, 2008


Psalms 28: 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

After posting yesterday that I was going to be mailing in my portfolio I realized how I have not shared the many of the blessings that have helped Noah and me to deal with this difficult situation. These are only a few of the many blessings.

Professors at the university - Upon finding out about Magdalena's health, I was in my last semester of graduate school. Noah began to take off on Thursdays to drive me to the university a couple hours away for my class, and I really just became emotionally overwhelmed. It is university policy that a student be enrolled in the semester that they graduate, so it didn't seem possible to me that I would be able to ask for an extension in order to take more time to finish my classes. While I was barely keeping up with my work I wrote to my professors explaining the situation and asking what could be done, and I set up a meeting with the VP of student affairs to discuss graduation. Noah and I talked and realized that I needed to take the time to deal with all of my emotions instead of just feeling stuck.
I just didn't think that I was going to make it....and I only had a month and a half left. By the following Thursday when I met with the VP, my two professors and the VP of student affairs had worked every detail out. It was no longer required that I drive to Hattiesburg the last few times; I would finish coursework online. If I didn't finish my classes by the end of May they would enroll me in a summer "research" class, and they even went so far as to find me a scholarship for that class. It was just the mercy we needed at the hardest time in my life, and I am so thankful for those individuals.
Tomorrow, Monday, I will be mailing in my final portfolio. I am so thankful for the time given so that my strength could be put in other areas of my life.

Work - When Noah and I first found out we were both emotionally exhausted which poured into our physical strength. There were so many nights that I had problems sleeping, if I slept at all, and it wasn't helpful that I had to leave the house by 6:40 to arrive at work on time. It was such a blessing to work with an amazing team. I took some time off for rest, and after sleepless nights I was excused to go into work a little late. Meanwhile, I was still going to the doctor for visits, etc. It took some time for me to be able to be around people.

My mom - My mom has given me so much of her time this summer during her vacation. Just look on my patio and you will see potted plants, chairs, etc. all put there and positioned by her. She has gone with me to my doctor's appt. when Noah has to work.

My nieces and nephew - In a difficult, unique situation like this one it is difficult sometimes for adults to know how to act and what to say around a hurting individual. For this reason, I am thankful for my innocent nieces Caroline (6 years old), Emma (4), and Laura(3) who have continually shown love to Magdalena, and through their innocent remarks, they have reminded me of how her sickness will glorify God. They continually hug Magdalena (through my stomach) and give her kisses. They may not understand the disease or even know its name, but they know that she is sick, which could allow her to be with Jesus sooner than most people. My nephew, Landon, is only 2 and 1/2 months old, but when I hold him Magdalena gets very active. I wonder if they are communicating with each other, or if they can just feel that the other one is there.

My Family - For throwing Life Day parties for Magdalena after every doctor's appt., for showing strength when she is their niece, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter, and this situation affects them too. It would be hard to list all of the small things that they have done for Noah and me.

Just a comment on tears....

Without Jennifer's permission I am writing about a discussion that I had with her yesterday. She always felt so bad if she asked me a question or made a comment that would make me cry. However, I tried to assure her that it was nothing that she did; it was the situation. Many of the comments and questions were difficult ones that I was dealing with at the time. The tears are there because of the love that I have for my daughter, and they will be there forever. It doesn't mean that I am miserable but that I feel strong emotions for her. The only way to avoid the possibility of me crying around you is to avoid me all together or avoiding the fact that I am a mother. Don't feel bad if I cry. It is ok. There is nothing that could have been said to avoid the tears, and sometimes they come because I have been avoiding them for so long.


  1. Glad that your sweet family has so many blessings. We haven't know y'all long, but we already think that y'all are such a blessing to us!

  2. Great blog, Baby! We really are amazingly blessed. I love you!

  3. Such a beautiful extended family. Magdalena will bring such blessing with her precious little life, and yes there will be tears. I am praying for God to bless you will many days, too many too count. Cathy & Annabel

  4. I love your blog! What a beautful family!


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