O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

I walked into Magdalena's room yesterday afternoon, just looking at all of the pink, and I realized how I am going to miss all of the girly things. Because we may not be ready to put those things away for a while, our little boy's closet may be filled with both pink and blue. Noah and I are very excited about our first boy, and we both agree that having a boy will be much easier emotionally to have this year instead of the girl. It will be a completely new experience so that every time I see a dress, I am not thinking of my first sweet girl. It will be easier to love both in a special way without as many tears and "what ifs". My arms long for Magdalena that no other child will be able to replace, but as soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that this was going to be special pregnancy. One that will be filled with so many unknowns and fears, but also one of so much joy and hope after such a sad time in our lives. We are praying that God will allow us t...

I know that it has been a while since I have posted, and I am sorry for that, but we have been having such a good weekend. My friend, Kim, came to visit and we were so glad to have spent this time with her! Before work this morning, I took her to the airport for her to be able to return home to her husband who I am sure missed her terribly. My day has continued with going to see the doctor. I know that I am nervous about our new baby, but I don't think that I constantly worry about it. Sometimes it seems just to catch up with me and can be overwhelming. Today I was so nervous about hearing bad news from the doctor, my stomach was in knots and then, as we waited for him to come to our room, I just cried. The baby did have a good heartbeat. I was just so full of so many different emotions. I wanted to go right then to see the high risk doctor to see if everything was ok, but we have to wait. It is better to wait at least until the 17th week for the doctor to be sure he catches any ab...

Easter is a special holiday for those of us who have lost someone that we truly love because it is the day that we celebrate that Jesus is risen. We know that Magdalena is in heaven because Jesus paid the ultimate cost for our sins. However, it is on this special day that we miss her the most out of all of the days. Mary Magdalene was the first to see Jesus when he was no longer dead, and when our pastor preached I couldn't help but think about how Magdalena (Magdalene in Spanish) was the first of us to see Jesus. I did make it through all of church and family time, which felt like an accomplishment, but at the end of the day I was emotionally tired. I miss her so much. Katie and Carter took balloons and a pink egg to Magdalena's grave, and Mimi planted the purple flowers.

It has been far too long since I have contributed to this blog. Julie does such a great job of expressing herself so profoundly that I often don’t feel that what I have to say is all that great. I have often started a new entry and then stopped halfway through never to feel that it was worth picking up again. I am sorry for that. But something happened recently that I feel I have to write about. I am very thankful that my wonderful wife is such a great, expressive writer and has been so faithful in keeping up the blog. This past Tuesday, I went to Tennessee to see Chris Tomlin in concert. I saw him once many years ago and loved every minute of it, so when I saw that he was going to be playing in Memphis, I really wanted to take Julie. After checking to make sure it was okay with her work, I bought tickets for us, only to find out later that Julie could not go because of work. I called a friend of mine, Tim Jewett, who lives there and he agreed to go to the concert with me and let me ...