O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Since January 2009 I have buried my daughter, my grandfather, and two grandmothers.  Each death was different and I handled them differently.  The after effects shook my world differently too.  With every death I have realized there is only one Comfort, and when it is too hard to pray or worship, the Holy Spirit intervenes for me so that I can feel a peace that only God can give.   One obvious blessing when pain strikes is that I have been given an amazing family.  Together we unite, cry, laugh, and mourn.  As Lori stood next to Grandmom's casket we could hear her voice telling Lori "I don't see how you are wearing those heals".    As we patted her puffy hair one last time, we all reminisced at how that used to aggravate her.  Together we hold the memories of a woman who impacted each of our lives, and how through her life and death we are changed.  She would want us to worship God, and would fuss at us for shedding so many tears. ...

Grandmom is with her 5th grade sweetheart and my Magdalena right now dancing.  She is elderly, but it all came as a surprise to everyone.  My heart feels so tight that sometimes I think it is going to explode because I miss her so much, and I can't believe that she has left us.  My grandmother, known as Grandmom to everyone, was known by everyone for  her sweet heart and amazing southern cooking.  When I was pregnant with Magdalena she began to experiment and perfected frying pickles for me.  She made everyone their favorite foods despite how tired she was.  Now, as we clean her house I keep waiting for her to pop around the corner telling us to get out of her kitchen so that we can talk.  Grandmom came over often to snuggle with Magdalena.  Oh, how she loved her snuggles. This looks like an innocent picture, but it isn't.  Grandmom does not like her picture to be taken.  I think that she finally realized that she couldn't ...

I finally remembered to order this picture!  A sweet family in Australia takes these pictures for families who have lost a child, and it is just beautiful! 

The train theme came at a time of crisis.  Walt was throwing up the night before I had intended to get the invitations.  It was a week until the party, so I lacked time.  During his nap I found a picture invite online with a train on it and the rest is history.   Everyone ate Walt's favorite food, a crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cheetos.   I was so nervous that the cake wasn't going to turn out, or we would drop it on the way to the park! Walt dressed as an engineer! Walt and his cousin All of the kids wore a bandanna  Caroline wrapped an Elmo doll that she had found in the closet and drew these pictures for Walt. Walt's sweet friend that lives next door drew this picture for Walt. 

I haven't blogged much since I have started working.  Learning to balance it all is tough!  We are gradually learning a system that works well for us now!  Looking back I realized how much I have not shared so here are a few of my favorite pictures from August and September. We took this cake to the special NICU nurses for Magdalena's birthday.  Some have left, but whether they helped Magdalena or know us doesn't matter.  There are so many babies whose lives are affected by their daily work.  Walt acted shy around Nurse Wren We had an intimate family gathering to recognize August 6th, Magdalena's special day.  Everyone came over for a pink brunch!  Everything was pink, and of course there were cupcakes! Loli made pink muffins! Walt got to spend the night for the first time with Caroline, Emma, Loli, and Stephen while Noah and I celebrated our anniversary at a bed and breakfast.  Walt had a BLAST!  He stayed up late, a...