Trusting is not a one time deal. It is not something that you give to God once, and then, miraculously everything is wonderful (with birds chirping in the background). The pain deep within the stomach reminds you that we have got to give it to God today. This doesn't make me like the situation any better. It doesn't mean that I no longer miss my sweet girl. It means that I have completely opened my hands up to what God has to offer in all of its fullness. I cannot imagine my life without having such a special little girl who did some amazing things in her lifetime, but I am glad God doesn't reveal everything at once, but only in the amounts that he sees fit. I continually had to trust his will for our lives and hers. And I still do, and for me to survive the rest of my life without trusting him would be unbearable.
Psalm 40:16-17
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
As for me, I am poor and needy,
As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!
God, please continue to allow me to trust in you, and take these chains off that I carry unnecessarily for you have saved me!
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